This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 1 week, 5 days ago.

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  • #87257
     Clipsham 
    Participant

    Hi – I’m new. My ex husband left (detail removed by moderator) yrs ago. We were married for almost (detail removed by moderator) yrs. happily I thought. I guess that was because I went along with everything he wanted. We worked hard together in our own company, just two of us in the office, I didn’t have any of my own friends and sometimes I could work from home, in hindsight too isolated. He didn’t want children but accused me of not having any when he left. It was such a shock that he left. He said he had been ignoring me for (detail removed by moderator) years and doing what he wanted, he said he should never have married and couldn’t stand the sight of me and that I was stupid and exsasperating. No physical abuse but coersion. I wasn’t allowed to see bank statements. He said he would tell me the amount and didn’t I trust him. Before he left he bought a house without me knowing. I tried so hard to do everything for him, I am so lonely and stuck now. The year before he left he was hearing voices that weren’t there and saying I was having affairs and someone wasinjecting me with drugs and wanted me to have a lie detector test. He wouldn’t go to the doctor. Now he has gone he says he is absolutely fine. Haven’t heard from him for over a year he avoids me. His family said what did I do to push him over the edge. They say he was ill because he wanted to leave me, I didn’t know that, he never said. I honestly didn’t do anything accept try to please him. He closed our company (detail removed by moderator). So I don’t have children, husband, careers, friends, his family. I am so alone. I have to sell the house but am so scared. I love him so much. He now has a house in town, our country house in another county our camper van etc. I know I could do this on my own but he never let me do anything myself and I have only been driving on a motorway for a couple of years and not often. Sorry this is so long. Every morning I wake up just grieving I had a happy busy life I thought and now nothing. He didn’t give me a reason for leaving. I know you ladies are usually trying to escape from awful situations but for me he is the one who left.

  • #87258
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi there and welcome to the forum. What has happened to you is method cruel. Have you been in touch with WA yet. Your local one can point you in the direction of very good lawyer. It sounds like you’ve processed a lot of what has happened on your own. You’re not alone now. Your husband had emotionally and financially abused you from what I can gather. But when you are able you’ll probably find he’s advised you in so many other ways also. Have you spoken to yuour doctor too. As his wife you are entitled to 50% of all assets accrued after you were married. Even though it’s been over a year he has commited fraud, he’s stole from you. not just financially but emitional too. 4 decades is a long time to have been with someone, try and keep yo the facts, there will be paper trails even though you might not have any or seen any. It will be alright,i promise. sadly you are on this road you nor any of us would have chosen. You will become a stronger version of yourself. Coming out of an abusive relationship, no matter who ends it, is very similar to the feelings we go through when someone we love dies. I pray you find the strength to carry on and don’t let that man take any more of you. Love and light IWMB 💞💞
    Ps please see a lawyer versed in domestic abuse, your local WA helped me get the legal advice I needed. It’s been nearly treat since I first spoke to them, I’m nearly ready to get finances in order. The best form of revenge is tio go on and live your life yuo the fullest. These men break us but with love and support from those you’ll least expect it you will get there. You’ll also learn that those people who blame you, they are not friends or anyone who says they love you. It’s too easy to victim blame. You are not to blame for any of this, this is down to him and him alone. You can pm me if you want to.
    W have a moderator who will someone sensor what we post, it’s only because what we write could possibly identify us. Take care my friend and again wekcome to the forum, you have taken very brave first step away from his abuse. Just take it baby step by baby step.

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