Can’t say “I love you”.

[Pinkheart]

I’ve been in a new relationship for nearly (detailed removed by Moderator) now. The first relationship since I separated from my ex, but I just can’t say “I love you” to him. He’s said it to me a few times now. I just smile or think he’s probably caught up in the moment and ignore it. I do love him, but I just can’t say it!!
I just feel scared to say it. I know he’s nothing like my ex, but I’m just struggling at the thought of saying them three words to him. I keep thinking in my head, if I don’t say it then I can’t get hurt!
Has anyone else had this issue? And how did you overcome this?

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Pinkheart

Can you let him know you are struggling to express yourself and that its related to historical abuses?

How much have you opened up to him about your previous experiences? Give yourself time, and don’t pressure yourself, its something to do when you feel right about it, and not when he’s done it, him saying it should not pressure you into feeling you must say it, but if you want to and can’t then the fact that you are knowing inside you love him and are actively thinking about this will lead to you resolving these issues, and if you can’t then maybe ask your GP for a block of counselling sessions?

Try not to stress about it, and just see if it will come naturally after you have worked through this.

warmest wishes

ts

[Pinkheart]

Thank you for responding.
He knows everything about my past. He’s been so supportive and understanding. Even when I’ve tried to self sabotage and push him away.
I feel everything I never felt with my ex. He makes me feel safe, happy, loved, but even though I feel love for him I just can’t say it.
Relationships are tough😔…Especially when you’ve been in an abusive one in the past.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Pinkheart, don’t worry about not being able to say those words, I can’t either not even to my children or father. I’m sure you do thoughtful and kind things for your new partner every day, those are actions of someone who loves another. Take the pressure off and find some other phrase that means something to just the both of you, as deeply as saying I love you would. Try saying it in another language even.
You’ll find what works for you, just don’t stress about it.
Best wishes
IWMB 💞 💞

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