Can’t say I was overly hopeful but still the realisation hurts

[HeasvHeart]

As a last resort I agreed to couples therapy. I found the therapist and they specialise in abuse. We have had sessions together and separately.
We’ve spoken about our individual sessions and my partner mentioned how he is ashamed of how he used to physically fight with a family member and wouldn’t dream of doing that now…. and when I pointed out he does with me he said i was making it about me and asked how it’s relevant.
When I mentioned that this is something he has to deal with and change he said he doesn’t need the therapy to know he will never hurt me physically again.
So we are basically wasting our time and money aren’t we 😢.
I dont even know what I expect anyone to respond to this, I just know this is the best place to feel understood x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Exactly you are in the right place here.
Couple therapy doesn’t work with abusers. If anything it gives them even more ammunition to use against us.
In the book ‘Why does he do that’ by Bancroft it is illustrated that couple therapy actually enables the abuser even better for abusive behaviour so yes it is a waste of time and money.
At least you tried every alley and your conscious is clear.
Look out for yourself now, you are the one that matters. Take care and keep posting

[Iwantmeback]

At least you now know he will not change, he’ll just adapt and change his tactics time and time again.
IWMB 💕🍀

[KIP.]

They will agree to anything to keep you hooked in. My ex offered to ‘get help’. They never change. Judge them by how they act not what they say or promise. Time to work on a safe exit plan for yourself. You deserve better x

[HeasvHeart]

Thanks for your support as always ladies x

[Author]

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