Can't stop crying…

[Pinklady]

I had my counselling session this morning & when I got home all I did was curl up & cry my eyes out.
I was told “it’s ok to not be ok”.
I felt weak because I’ve done a lot of crying but I now understand that I’m also going through a grieving process.
It’s hard to keep positive when I’m in this situation but at least I’m safe & out, all I want now is to find me again but I’ve got a feeling it might take some time.
Even though I’ve been out for a few months, it’s obvious from this morning, I’m still very raw & have a long road ahead, not sure how I’m going to cope though.

[Serenity]

It seems unfair that not only have we had to endure the pain of actual abuse, but the process of healing can be difficult too.

I remember being in floods of tears during a few counselling sessions. It takes a lot of courage and strength to work through the pain and distress and attempt to come out the other side.

But that’s the braver path. It might seem easier to block everything, to engage in activities that take our mind off our true feelings, to succumb to unhealthy habits such as drinking to avoid our pain. But you have chosen to face your pain and get support, and difficult though it might be to work through your pain, you will come out the other side a stronger and happier person, I promise.

Take it a day at a time. Don’t forget to care for yourself well, continue to get support and don’t put pressure on yourself to achieve too much too quickly. A little progress each day, each month will less to a significant result in the end.

Don’t be scared to cry. I think it is important to release all that pain.

[anotherlife]

Hi Pinklady, I know it’s really hard but I think Serenity is right. I’m still in my relationship as I don’t know what to do yet, there’s a long road ahead for me and my family either way, it’s not all bad times. But anyway.
You’re doing the right thing by having some counselling. We may be able to talk to friends and family but counselling is a safe place with a counsellor who is experienced in helping people and they want to help.
Your grief needs to slowly find a way out, you need to release the feelings, no matter how upsetting it feels at the time. Crying is natural and is not a sign of weakness, it helps to release pent up emotions. Did you feel a tiny bit of relief after, even if just in the fact that the tears were all out? It’s a time of such stress and upset and you need a way to release the feelings.
The support you receive, of all types, will make a massive difference to how you feel and get on, as not taking help could make you feel more isolated.
It doesn’t matter if it takes time to find yourself again, you’re going to do it and you’re going to be ok in the end. These abusers have so much to answer for, for the way they have made us feel without us realising for years. But for every woman who gets out and on with her life, that’s one less man that’s getting what he wants.
Wishing you well. Look at the blue skies, the stars, make a list of little things that make you happy and things you like to do, to add to as something in writing you can read when you’re down. Lift your head up and know you’re worth X

[Author]

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