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    • #129083
      Thistle06
      Participant

      Found out today that my ex hid money months before I left the house gave it to his mother so she was complicit. It means all his abuse of me was planned to drive me out or drive me mad. I cannot cannot cope with this knowledge .
      That it was so calculated and that I suffered so much at his hands.
      Since I found out I can’t stop shouting stupid stupid stupid woman. Stupid for being kind stupid for believing it was my fault , stupid naive fool .
      I don’t know what to do with myself.

    • #129084
      ladiesand gentlemen
      Participant

      You are not stupid, this is what they want us to feel, PLEASE don’t let him or her hurt you anymore, they are NOT worth it.
      You WILL over time rebuild yourself and you life, and when you look back you will be so much better without all this control and manipulation, they are weak individuals and we are STRONG.
      Try to hold your head high, keep yourself and any children safe, and relax, take a deep breath and one day the tears will stop.
      Stay safe, ignore any dramas from them
      Take care x*x

    • #129085
      Thistle06
      Participant

      I try to move on its been over (detail removed by moderator) since I left. He just keeps pulling me back . Will it ever end . How can someone treat someone like that why did I allow this to happen to me , what makes me so stupid xx

    • #129086
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hi Thistle06

      I doubt very much that you allowed it. It was done to you.

      Even if you had known, it would have been very difficult to stop it. Trust me, my ex and his Mum stole thousands from me in this way and hid enough money to pay out a national lottery win and there was nothing I could do to prove it. You can demand they declare everything but if they choose not to, your hands are tied.

      Moving on from that type of injustice is very, very difficult.

      Please know that all the money in the world won’t make him or his mother happy. Nothing will make them happy. They will never be at peace with themselves, they will always be selfish and spiteful and will waste their lives fighting to grab, grab, grab, instead of opening up to love and enjoying the type of peace and contentment that can’t be bought.

      I know my ex and his Mum will die sad and lonely and full of spite. They can’t take the money with them when they die. They’ll have lived their lives hording money that they will loose when they die. They won’t spend it they’re way too mean! What a miserable way to live.

      You weren’t stupid, you were abused. They are very different things. xx

    • #129110
      Thistle06
      Participant

      Thankyou all I feel so empty today and I don’t know how to recover from this utter vindictiveness and spite . But I will have to. How will I ever trust anyone again xx

      • #129114
        KIP.
        Participant

        You will learn to trust again. What helped me was just lumping this further revelation in with the rest of the abuse. It’s just another piece of abuse.

    • #129111
      ladiesand gentlemen
      Participant

      Eggshells is absolutely spot on, it was NEVER your fault
      Take it easy with yourself
      Stay safe x*x

    • #129113
      Eggshells
      Participant

      It’ll get easier as time goes on and you start to really appreciate the joy of being free of him. There will still be bad days, especially if you’re up against it financially but in my experience, the ladies on the forum wil always be here to help you through.

      Recovery seems to be a long, slow process but there are ladies who have learnt to trust again.

    • #129117
      iliketea
      Participant

      Not stupid, I did the same, and have had a very similar experience, though I guess that doesnt make it not stupid (!) BUT, to trust someone and be kind is not stupid and I try and remember I kept my integrity through this nightmare which is ongoing, as I am sure you did and do too. One day this will pass, that is the only certainty of life isn’t it, this will pass. Sending big hugs. I remember you posting before. Remember they have to go to bed with themselves and their thoughts every night, that is their punishment as they will never surely be able to sleep easy after what they have done. xx

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