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    • #134101
      Whyohwhy
      Participant

      I am not one for crying, I learnt to bottle things up. But today I got legal advice through a domestic abuse service and it went against what everyone I had previously spoken to said. It seems what I have been doing which I don’t want to do anymore is actually the best thing I can do for my daughter, what I actually wanted to do which everyone previously said was acceptable (and is the best thing for my daughter’s mental health and mine) is not best in the eyes of the law. So I am stuck forever more pandering to my ex. His abuse has shaped our lives forever and he still gets to sit and direct us around. I am so frustrated and devastated that I was finally feeling in a strong position getting brave towards him and now I have been knocked for six. So all I can really do is try and be strong and put boundaries in place. Don’t really have anyone I can talk to who quite understands so just offloading really.

    • #134106
      KIP.
      Participant

      Get a second opinion. You’re in charge of your life 💕

    • #134107
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Get a second opinion. It’s exactly that ‘an opinion’, a different solicitor might take a different view.

    • #134112
      Whyohwhy
      Participant

      I just assumed that it being the solicitor that is through the domestic abuse service she would have the best information. I am learning that I have control over my life it’s my daughter’s life that I apparently have less control over. It’s so sad that so many women on here have to send their children off to manipulative fathers. I don’t want that to happen as my daughter is so sensitive. I will have to carry on going on the visits with her until I can get different advice. The charade goes on. But it’s worse now as they said she is too young to choose so we have to go even if she doesn’t want to. So I have to encourage her to visit the man I wish I didn’t have to see again because the law thinks it’s in her best interest.

    • #134115

      I can’t offer any advice, sadly, but I can say that we are all here for you and if you need to rant then do it, get it all off your chest.

      Sending love and strength. I am sure you will overcome this one way or another.

      It is frustrating and very sad to know what they do to us but we can’t let them defeat us.

      Hope you and your daughter are OK xx

      • #134131
        Whyohwhy
        Participant

        I am feeling a bit better now thanks. Thanks to a childhood illness doing the rounds we haven’t got to visit for a week or more so has given me some breathing space to digest what I have been told. It’s a welcome break! It’s funny how they want to be the doting parent but they keep away when bugs are around.

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