Can’t take it anymore

[Vikinglady]

Hi,
I am new to the forum.
Long story short I was in an abusive marriage, finally got divorced, been In an abusive relationship for the past (detail removed by Moderator) years but the last year has gone so much worse. I am in my own home and my partner lives here too, I cover all household bills and rent which basically takes most of the money each month from my bank account, I will ask for money to have help but often get refused or will have small amounts given to me, I get the usual “it’s my money I work for it” if I bring anything up regarding having any help I’m made to feel like I’m a burden, I have told him a few times to leave my home but he won’t go, I’m made to feel I’m financially reliant on him to get food and in the process made to feel like utter c**p, I feel so miserable and lost my confidence in alot of ways, I’m a shell of the person I once was , any advice on helping me to be a stronger person be appreciated, he’s even gone to the point of trying to turn my own children against me saying I’m always at fault and causing arguments when it is him that causes the upset, he did promise to change when we had a break about (detail removed by Moderator) years ago and I was stupid enough to leave him back in my life.

[Reindeer]

Hi Vikinglady
Thank you for posting, it takes courage to start! With each word written the truth becomes clearer and the realization that you are not alone. You took him back because you cared about him and hoped you would find love, respect and care. Instead, he’s not sharing fairly with you and doesn’t want to acknowledge it. You’re a strong person already, even if you don’t feel it. You are the one pulling your weight and paying the bills. Trust your intuition when you see the injustice and start to plan and prepare your way out. Put less energy into fighting and more into escape planning. Rather than explaining or justifying yourself, connect with others, on the forum, trusted friends and family, samaritans. Remember you were born beautiful and vulnerable and worth protecting.

[Chickadee]

Hi –

Check into the laws with having a tenant/renter (to protect yourself).

But in general, if this is your place, KICK HIM OUT!

You are strong and you can do this, YOU ALREADY ARE. He is guilt tripping you, causing you to question yourself and your own abilities, so that he can maintain CONTROL over you. Many high level abusers are free loaders and thieves!

You can do this!

Best of Luck, Chickadee

[Vikinglady]

Thankyou reindeer and chickadee your kind encouraging words have given me that light bulb moment when I’m actually thinking hey I got this…I can do it aslong as I stay strong and don’t be taken in with his false promises…I haven’t had any me time to process either abusive relationships and focus solely on myself and I need to do that to heal from it all…thankyou so much 💗

[Author]

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