Casualty storyline- trigger to anyone else?

[Hopingforpeace]

Hi

I regularly watched Casualty but the last two episodes have triggered flashbacks for me and the second one I watched it was this evening and it’s worse than the first. I feel like I I keep getting panicky. It just felt some familiar, the words that were said and what happened in the episode. I feel scared again. I feel like crying and started too but just can’t.

Ive met this guy and he is really nice but 3 times now I’ve felt like I just can’t do it, I can’t commit to a relationship. I don’t want to feel like I need anyone again, I don’t want to get to close. I don’t want to trust again as I feel it will make me vulnerable. Has anyone who suffered sexual abuse managed to have another relationship?

[Lisa]

Hi blueskies,

Everything you’ve explained in your post are natural responses and feelings for a survivor of sexual abuse. You may need time and the right support to get to a place where you feel comfortable in a new relationship.

If you haven’t already you could have a look through The Survivor’s Trust Website for information on support options such as helplines, support groups and counsellors.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[Hopingforpeace]

Hi Lisa

Thank you for your post, it is really helpful. I hadn’t heard of the Survivor’s Trust website before.

[KIP.]

Please don’t add any pressure onto yourself. Nobody says you have to rush into anything. I’m seeing a guy and we have been just friends for ages with some kissing. There is no pressure and if you feel you’re under pressure then maybe explain to your friend. Also, good counselling is very important. Ring rape Crisis helpline for some re assurance. It really is ok not to commit to a relationship until you are ready. I wonder if your anxiety comes from your abusers behaviour when you didn’t commit? Good counselling will retrain your brain to rationalise things better. Time is a really good healer and things will improve, I remember I swore I would never be alone with a man ever again. I’ve come a long way. Still got lots to work on but I know things are better x

[Hopingforpeace]

Hi KIP

Thank you for your post, it is so helpful. I have been out of the abusive relationship for several years but have not attempted dating until recently, and then didn’t expect to meet someone. With the combination of the Casualty storyline, it has made me realise that I have issues with getting into a relationship. Things that I wouldn’t have realised though without being in this situation. He is a lovely guy from what I know so far and isn’t putting any pressure on me but he is open about wanting to see me more and he would like to move things on but says he understands that I want to take things slow and no rush. I know I shouldn’t but I feel bad at times that im not ready for that. I have had quite a bit of counselling but it was more to help me deal with and cope with flashbacks and to deal with being near my ex as I had to be due to child contact situation. Ive realised I need to deal with the impact of the abuse on my feelings/thoughts. like I have difficulty trusting people. When I left my ex I said I would make sure I never felt like I needed anyone again and I would manage myself no matter what and would never give all of myself to another person, I would hold some back so I knew I could always manage on my own if I needed to. I dont ever want to end up in a vulnerable position again. My ex made me feel like I needed him and then he played on that. Right now I feel liked if I get into a relationship and commit to someone I will be in a vulnerable position and I cant do that. He is a lovely guy and I would like to see him more but just not sure how to handle it and he is open about what he wants longer term and how much he likes me which just scares me sometimes as im not ready for that. We are at different places. I have said I was in an abusive relationship previously but not given any details and I said so im not sure how I will be, just have to see, but need to go really slowly. He has said a few times im here for you whatever you need and if/when you want to talk about it. Which is a nice response but just scares me when the ‘need’ word is mentioned. I don’t want to talk about it either as I don’t think its necessary and until I know him loads better I wouldn’t any. He seems totally fine with that, he seems a very caring guy. Im just not sure what to do but I do know now that I need some more in depth counselling and as much as I don’t want to do it, in another way I do. Otherwise if I don’t I could end up lonely as I wont trust anyone enough to let them into my life. Don’t know if that makes sense but finding it hard to explain.

[Author]

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