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I cycled past a turning today, i know it is dangerous turning and cars come out quickly. It reminded me of when I said to my ex “be careful that turning is dangerous”. My motivation when saying this was as it sounds to warn him to be careful as I did not want him to have an accident, 100% innocent on my part. He however viewed this type of comment as me trying to control him. There were quite a few things that I couldn’t say for fear of him thinking I were being controlling when i was only making throwaway comments or trying to have a chat. I guess we were unable to have successful meaningless chats like normal couples do. X*X
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My ex hated it if I ever told him to be careful or tried to offer advice out of concern. I’d get thrown a daggered look. Or he’d go and do the action just to prove a point. So I daren’t do it.
Yet he told me how inadequate I was all the time.
My ex also hated me chatting about things that weren’t about him. For example, he’d get annoyed if I tried to chat to him about my job, friends or family.
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I’m chuckling to myself reading your message Serenity, I wasn’t allowed to talk about myself either, either I felt that I couldn’t or he would look bored stiff which would put me off. I dont understand their mentality, what is wrong with us saying things of concern? in the end i was really reduced into what I could actually say or I had to really dress it up so that It didn’t cause offence.
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