15th March 2018 at 11:12 am #55927SerenityParticipant
I have been on the phone to the CMS three times in the last week, and I refuse to give up. A lady on this forum said that one things these abusers don’t count on is our tenacity. Too right.
It’s been (detail removed by moderator) since I sent in the proof that my eldest son doesn’t go to his dad for regular contact. They had it written down that he does, as they believed my ex’s lies without him providing proof. Despite having my documented proof, they are only now getting moving. I will ring them twice a week until it’s sorted. He pays barely anything towards my kids. Not only is he lying about his earnings, but he’s even lying about the amount of time he has them. Total corruption.
I rang them back today too, because my youngest says that his dad had said he can’t see him for (detail removed by moderator) months. Apparently, my ex’s mother is dying. He’s going there to tend to her.
Well, he’s never tended to anyone in his life. If it is true, and his mum is dying, it’s very sad- she is a lovely lady who has been mistreated all her life.
However, I put nothing past my ex. He is capable of all kinds of sick lies and would use something like a parent’s illness as leverage to use to his advantage. I hope the poor lady is being well cared for. At least she has done good friends, if not family. Her husband is a drunk.
I rang the CMS because I wanted to tell them that my ex isn’t having my son for (detail removed by moderator) months. He’s already begun shortening and cancelling contacts. So the calculations need changing. It’s isn’t just around this situation with him going away for months- it’s been happening a lot. My ex is earning a ton, and even if he were going away for a good reason, his kids don’t cease to exist.
I went through a patch of feeling tired and defeated. But now I seem to face have had a second wind. I am struggling to afford to give my kids all the things they deserve. I recently had some compensation due to an accident, but that will mainly go on paying off divorce debt- though I will save a little towards a badly needed holiday.
I’m not giving up. He didn’t know who he married.
15th March 2018 at 11:45 am #55930cupofcoffeeParticipant
Well done Serenity, my experiences were that the CMS were very quick to take the male abuser’s side and you have to keep pushing them and pushing them, I also found that the advisers on the phone were on the whole useless!
Keep pushing hun as both you and your kids deserve it, don’t let him get away with it!
15th March 2018 at 1:24 pm #55932KIP.Participant
Well done. Do not give up. You have the moral right and truth on your side. Even if you don’t get anywhere, you expose their awful system and the disgraceful behaviour of your ex. I recently complained (detail removed by moderator) Not just for me but for others who are honest and transparent. Why should we be disadvantaged.
16th March 2018 at 11:59 am #55967AyannaParticipant
Keep up the fight!
Write complaint letters to all levels of the management.
Phone them daily.
Involve your local MP.
Go to the media!
Create a Twitter Shitstorm!
16th March 2018 at 10:53 pm #55985endoftherainbowParticipant
I have found them to be useless,I contacted them as a last resort as I had heard they were brutal, and left men with no money. Its been a year and my ex has just told lie after lie to avoid paying. Even though I have told them numerous times what was going on, they said they have to investigate his claims!! Hes managed to wriggle out of it all, iv had one payment and he’s given up his job to make sure I didn’t get anymore!! Total waste of time. They need to change how they deal with abusers’ and make it easier for us.
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