Child Maintenance

[Tractor]

Hi,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Its been some time since I have been on here and some of you might remember my name . I hope you are all ok!

I am so upset and angry right now … I left my controlling abusive ex some time ago and since he has refused point blank to pay halves for our son. He goes to his dads 4 days one week and 3 the next so basically 50/50 care. He refuses to pay half to his swimming, half to his uniform , half to his nursery costs which is (detail removed by moderator) , for lunch time provision and (detail removed by moderator) so he can stay until 3.30pm when the other children finish.

I have rang child maintenance service and they say because he has him half the time they are unable to ask him for any money . this makes me so angry because he just will not pay anything towards his upbringing and says I get tax credits so use that . I have just got a new job so my tax credits has reduced significantly and doesn’t cover the costs of bringing up my other children too.

In addition to this he also owes me money which I have a court order for and have instructed the bailiff . he has hit the roof about this and really hates me right now. He stares at me and gives me dirty looks if I see him. He has always been abusive emotionally, financially and psychologically. He has been physical a handful of times. I am not frightened of him physically but mentally I feel drained . I suffer with depression and have just come out of a bad patch but feeling a lot better so worrying that this is going to send me back .

Has anybody experienced anything like that with the child maintenance service ?

Thanks XXXX

[diymum@1]

yes i couldnt get them to make him pay a penny different senario he hid his earnings. i gave up because it was giving me loads off stress chasing it. i know its not easy doing this more or less on your own but i did that way i felt i owed him nothing xx in my opinion the CMO are pretty useless xx

[KIP.]

Well done for fighting for what you and your child are entitled to. You know is stares are designed to intimidate you and even though you’re not frightened of him, his actions will be triggering memories for you. As you describe on here. Can you use a third party for hand over so there is no direct contact? Not physically seeing him will help your confidence and mental health? It’s a positive thing you did contacting the bailiff and there’s no one to blame but him. Contact citizens advice about the cmo and anything else they may suggest going forward.

[Tractor]

DIYmum I love your name! Well done you going it alone. I have actually thought this whether it’s worth the stress …

Hi kip ! I live extremely close to him but have just bought a house so I should be moved very soon which should really help things as it’s so hard seeing him so much . I also sometimes question myself and think it’s me. I need to write a list of incidents. Hes just bought yet another new (detail removed by moderator) do must have money coming in x

 

 

 

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