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I’ve been on the phone for hours these past couple of days.
Child Maintenance agreed that he was grossly underpaying me and not declaring his true income. They came to an amount that he owes in arrears.
He hasn’t yet payed it. He’s done anything and everything to try to wriggle out of paying it. First, he appealed. When that was rejected, he went for a second appeal.
I responded with a statement with evidence. I now find he has withdrawn his appeal, and told them he has paid me the amount he owes. He hasn’t!
He’s also (I think) lied about his address and income, saying he doesn’t have tenants and that he lives by himself in the house which I know he lets out. An aspect of his earnings which I had highlighted to CM, then seem to have forgotten to take into consideration!
Somewhere along the line, some person has believed his lies and the whole arrears thing has been turned upside down. I now have to submit all my evidence all over again. This could take months.
I’ve found myself feeling really low about the lengths he will go to to try to make the kids and I suffer. We haven’t done anything to deserve it. Like I told Starmoon in one of her posts, we are just unfortunate targets. But how can someone be so nasty to their own flesh and blood? My kids only have one childhood: he’s trying to make their lives so miserable. This isn’t the love of a parent: it’s anti-love.
I feel really violated.
It amazes me how much energy these abusers can invest in plotting and planning every fine detail of others’ demise.
Sorry to rant on.
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Theres a saying ‘there’s no rest for the wicked’ and now I understand it. Its true their every waking moment from the minute they wake up to the minute their head touches their pillow, they are spending their time, energy and talents scheming, conniving, abusing, trying to outdo, get one up on, hurt, manipulate, smear, tear down etc. Every word that comes out of their mouth is to achieve their ends either a lie or a manipulation. They are restless every day of their life. Restless searching for their buzz from hurting others (mainly their loved ones as they get the most high from this). Children, animals and the elderly are not exempt.
They spend their lives like this, hard to believe. I would hate to be like them and live like them. At least we can heal and go on to live. They are not living. They are just busy hurting others. What a waste of life.
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Am not getting a penny for my child. If it wasn’t for my parents I’d prob be using the local food bank. I haven’t bothered trying to claim child maintenance as he is self employed and works with cash. Doesn’t keep tax books so am screwed! To not pay for your child I think is disgusting but they don’t care. It’s all about them and only them. We have to pick up the pieces and try to keep children entertained with no money. It’s sad that this goes on! Makes me so angry! It is of course just another form of abuse towards us, am certain of that.
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It’s all another form of control. We are still living with mine and if he spends any money on himself or us whether we ask him or not, he will want something in return. We repay him in other ways. Even our most basic needs we have to repay him for, even though the money is not his in the first place. I have to repay him with sex, kisses and allowing myself to be groped and assaulted. His money always has a price attached to it that’s higher than what he gives us. His money is a way for him to own us and control us.
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The child maintenance service drive me insane, in the past year they have reduced my payments 3 times by “evidence” from my ex, but all he is doing is hiding his money away (that I can prove) but when I last phoned them I was told not to expect anything from an appeal and they were really unhelpful. It really feels like they are on my ex’s side and are not even bothering to look into this further, in which case they will find his hidden money!
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