Child worries

[Phenomenon]

So … here’s my dilemma.

I was my ex partners punching bag. I took all of the abuse. The person never projected anger to anybody else. They were sweet and lovely. But I have fled and legally I couldn’t take our child. The child is my ex partner’s and I’ve never seen any violence towards my step child ever but someone the other day said something that scared me

They said “if you are gone, where are they projecting their anger?”

My heart dropped and I feel so sad. I genuinely don’t believe that this person would hurt their own child. They adore their child. I miss and adore their child too. I saw them as my own and the child saw me as their mother figure. I’m also wondering what awful lies the perpertrater is feeding to the child. I don’t want the child to think I’ve just left them. But I began to get so scared. On the day I left I didn’t intend to not go back. I fled completely out of the blue and left all of my stuff. Do I go back and put myself in danger for the sake of the child?
I’m so scared but I can’t stop thinking about the child. I feel like I’m going mad.

(detail removed by moderator) They have made threats to my family too and I actually don’t know what they are capable of anymore.

They have made up some story about how I was the abuser. That all of this was my fault. (detail removed by moderator)

So far they are being lovely to me but weaponising the child (detail removed by moderator) I have come to terms that this was a trauma bond, not love and now it’s got so messy I don’t see a way out. They are living in my home and they know I will not chuck them out because of the child. I’m stuck and worried. I shouldn’t have fled spontaneously like I did but I was scared for my life. That beautiful child deserves everything that is good and I left. I feel awful.

Please help x*x

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