Children involvement

[Buddy]

Hi , so (detail removed by moderator) I had a lovely card saying thank u ( as I am a (detail removed by moderator) worker ) for all the work you are doing , from the company I work for .. I said to him isn’t that nice , he replied I just thought it was a waste of paper tbh 🤣
It’s like he is jealous that my job is well respected and anything that is positive about me he puts a negative spin on .
Also I met a new mum from the school and I mentioned how we have clicked so well and he replied , she has the type of personality that anyone would get on with .. again a negative towards me I feel !!
My son as he gets older is obviously staring to be more opinionated and (detail removed by moderator) we were discussing something which my son disagreed on my husband started to get frustrated and I said no need to be so sharp with him , my son would not back down , nothing awful just a discussion , he stood up really frustrated and like a child said I am off to bed quite aggressively , it’s like he gets annoyed if people don’t agree with him ..
I know these are not massive things but on top of his past behaviour I am watching everything and little light bulb moments are happening !!
I fear as my son gets older again they will come to blows , especially if my husband throws things , my son will start getting involved !!
Not good 😬

[Camel]

Hi there Buddy,

I hope you’re OK. Lightbulb moments are good. What you call little things mostly go unnoticed as we’re too busy dealing with the big things.

Depending on how old your son is, can you teach him to say something like ‘it’s OK, we’ll just agree to disagree’? Like you, he will never get to ‘win’ an argument so best to save the effort.

As for your good news, you know he will always suck the joy out of everything. So, stop sharing. Hug the positive stuff like a delicious secret. Don’t give him the chance.

Your son is already involved. He also has to deal with his father’s behaviour, walk on eggshells, watch how you’re diminished.

[Risingup]

I have the same experience with my husband. I am experienced in my line of work and any achievements, he mocks and puts me down. My children witness this and as a result I am sure they don’t perceive me and respect my achievements (all of which I’ve had to do while suffering abuse).

I completely agree, they are jealous! I like the phrase….’hug on to the good stuff’. Xx

[Author]

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