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Cant believe it, so hurt and angry. Have been stalked by my abusive ex for (detail removed by moderator) and really thought I had made a new start. However he found my house and sorry if this triggers anyone, him ny neighbours and a (detail removed by moderator) i went to years ago got together and had me gang raped. Memories are coming back slowly because they drugged me, but i recognised one of the main rapists at (detail removed by moderator) there. I told them i had been raped and they just laughed at me, told me i was mentally ill and haven’t talked to me since apart from laughing at me and using details from that night to spice up their sex life. The (detail removed by moderator) woman k thinks rape is a joke and is acting is out with her (detail removed by moderator! I asked the church if anyone af all would just spend a few nights up here to help me with the memories and the just laughed. Obviously once I realised it was my (detail removed by moderator) … I was drugged, memories returning slowly… I know how stupid i was to ask for help. I really was religious, turned to God to help, and found out God’s on the side of the abuser af least at that church. Religion can go to hell. Ladies if you need help (detail removed by moderator). They appear to enjoy domestic violence. An gutted. Some of them horrifically including one of the rapists were friends once. Be careful. Do not trust (detail removed by moderator). There are Christian abusers also.
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What a despicable, horrific, evil side to humanity that you just spoke about here….unfortunately, I am very familiar with it. My father used me in the very same way. Thank goodness I only have a few fragmented memories of “the others” but he used phenobarbital on me when I was little, raping starting at (detail removed by moderator), me being given the drug before I was whisked out of my bed in the middle of the night, returning later not knowing what happened to me but being very sore there, later with a urinary infection to follow which I rarely got treated for, extreme pain….sometimes the doctor would come to the house but he knew, he had to know what was going on…
I am also very familiar with the christian community in my small town where there was a church on every corner and everyone hid behind their religion while doing unspeakable things to each other. I am no longer a christian because of many reasons but I am very spiritual. I did my homework regarding all that, researched things for years so it wasn’t just an emotional rejection. I have to say, backing off now and looking back it was the so-called christians that hurt me the worst. Not saying there aren’t good ones because there are. But I was persecuted more by them than anyone else and they betrayed me more than anyone else as individuals and as a group. I am highly intuitive and as they call it themselves – I have the gift of discernment but I got nothing but grief for that one. I’d see the wolf, point them out and they would all hiss and spit at me. If it were back in the day, I’d be burned at the stake. And later it would all come out and some would apologize but most would distance themselves even further. Afraid I might see them as well I guess. I did.
So that’s a page out of my book and wanted you to really know “I understand you” and your pain, disgust, etc. I am happy to PM you so we can talk a bit more privately if you wish because all of this is sometimes hard to talk about. So my offer is there. I have counseled abuse victims, especially sex abuse victims all of my life and no I don’t have a clinical degree, just a life experience one. I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to get all caught up in the system and sometimes the laws that are not “pro us” so I opted out doing it professionally. (detail removed by moderator)
But my love, are extremely wounded right now and you are in a very very dangerous situation. I don’t know who you have reached out to other than these wretched people around you but you need to get out of their clutches and away from them so you never have to see them again. Please tell me who you have talked to or with as far as the authorities are concerned because I’m not only worried for you but I am worried about what they are doing to others and most likely to children. Seems like they have quite the little ring going on here and that’s not okay. So you need to call the police and ask to speak to someone in the sexual crimes division. You need to do this Asap. Then you need to call this hotline no. – 01708 765200. Here’s their email addy as well and their website – info@supportline.org.uk, https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/rape-and-sexual-assault/
Another one is – https://rapecrisis.org.uk/
You need to be removed from where you are and that needs to happen sooner than later. Sounds like you are surrounded. I can’t stress enough to you how much you need to use your anger and disgust to get yourself out of this situation. They have all committed a major crime here and it’s up to you to make big noise about it and keep making noise until something is done about it. Like I said, they aren’t just doing this to you. That much is a given here. And they are laughing about it??? GRRRRRRRRR!!!! So you get on that phone and call everyone until you get some action here. Okay? I’m here, we’re all here but this is savage what they have done here. Absolutely savage.
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How we treat someone when they are the darkest dark of their lives is a benchmark of our humanity…and that is what we are here to do for you for no other reason than – we care about you. Nothing else, just that. We don’t need pats on the back or anything like that. You are on fire here and we want to put it out. I see your fire in your belly, I so do. It’s there. And that is huge for you!!! It’s time for you to use wisdom, your intuition and whatever resource is available to you and I want you to bang on doors and keep banging on them, okay? You bang and you bang LOUD! Saying……I will so Not take this laying down, won’t take it at all and I will scream at the top of my lungs until someone does something for me and it is to my liking when they do. THAT is what you deserve. Nothing less. So you stand up, you put your shoulders back, dig in your heels and you Fight!!! I did it, you can. Alot of us have done it and it works. Because bottomline here is our energy and our power is quite amazing when it’s aimed at what’s evil in this world and as long as we think we have no power, as long as we bow, as long as we just take it then we never know what we had all along in our little pockets. We are extremely powerful. Why do you think your perps targeted you in the first place? Because they smelled you, who you are and they know on a very primal level that it is people like you that are their worst enemies ever because it’s you……….that wields the real power that can bring them all to their knees. But as long as you bow, as long as you do nothing, as long as you remain crippled, then they win. I walked on my crippled legs to out them. It was horrible to do so but I did and so can you. This is war. I’m sorry if you’re beat up already and all that but trust me when I say, your weakest point – is far stronger than their strongest point. I know because I’ve been there. They are bullies and they are cowards but once you lock in on who you are – they are no match for you and they know that, that’s why they have beaten you up this far.
We……..are the good that’s in this world and we are the very reason why the human race has not died out yet. It’s us, no one else. So it’s time we take our rightful place as the Queens we are, as the rulers we are because we are that. And we are good ones. So let’s be about it. You, right now, in what you are in, rise up. Rise Up! Be a warrior for womenkind, for children, for humankind. It’s time now, long past time, for you to feel that power course through your veins and for you to say a very determined – No More.
Funny but, people who know me understand that when I get white hot and determined, I don’t shout or rage. I just look whoever in the eye and say – I said MOVE! No emotion, just Intention. I didn’t stutter and they understood me.
Same with you. It’s time for you to say – I said Move!!!
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Thinkingofyou……..I’e been thinking of you alot actually….you have really been on my mind. I just felt so much sheer terror coming from what you wrote, that and disgust, betrayal, aloneness, all of it and my heart breaks for you. I just want you out of that situation so bad. And I want you to also know that these people don’t represent who God is. They don’t. They hide behind religion. A mask that alot of people choose to wear. I was around that all my growing up years and it made me sick to my stomach. It was sooo fake, just absolutely repulsive to me. But people with a keen kind of radar do get very offended by things like this, even if they don’t abuse you personally, you just feel the yuch and bad vibes coming off of them and it’s really quite real. I didn’t know what that was in me for a long time but when I figured out that I am one of those highly sensitive people and who people are does radiate off of them and I do pick up on it, then alot of things made sense to me. Then I realized why I would be so off put by just being around someone. My radar would go off like a three alarm fire and I’m like, geeesshhh, you know nothing about this person, knock it off! But then later, I would see that my intuition was spot on so I learned to trust it.
Being real and authentic makes you stand out in a crowd, it really does. And sometimes people who are actually quite evil – know that if you ever become really strong, you would be someone that they wouldn’t want to mess with so alot of times you get picked on just to keep you down and not realizing your own power and preventing you from coming into your own here. I’ve seen that one time and time again. Alot of times in families I will see the scapegoat of a family that is actually the best one of the lot. The one who has the biggest heart, has a conscience, feels for other people, has a clear code of honor and what’s right and wrong and it’s that particular person who gets kicked from all sides. Of course this person accuses the others “just by being” of what they are not and most likely could never be. Alot of this is just pure jealousy. And it can get oh so ugly and quite disturbing when you are the victim of it.
You have probably been very manipulated from all sides here. But what I do see in what you wrote is a very strong will. That is very very good! Your authentic self is in there, very much so. In spite of the abuse, in spite of who they are and what they have done – You – are still in there. Same thing with me when I was in my abuse. I didn’t allow my abuse to define me. It happened and then “I happened” in this world. I didn’t deserve what happened to me and you don’t either. We had nothing to do with it. But what we can do is claw and fight our way to our freedom. That we can do. We are no one’s prisoner. Like Helen Keller once said – Life is either one daring adventure or it is nothing. That is true. She would know.
I don’t know why we both had lives like this, I don’t. I don’t think it’s fate or anything like that. I think it’s just the luck of the draw as to what we are born in to. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Rain falls on both sides of the fence. Evil is alive and well here but so is intense Good. All I know is what is lifegiving is way more powerful than what is lifetaking. It’s light that penetrates the darkness. Darkness can’t do that to light. Doesn’t work. You bring a candle into a dark room and the room lights up and the darkness has to flee. You bring a handful of darkness into a room and open up your hand and the light vanquishes the darkness.
What we do in spite of our abuse is what matters. And what we do as far as getting justice matters a great deal as well. These people are very very dangerous and I hope that you do report them and even if someone might not listen, you just reach out to someone else who will. Never take No for an answer with something like this. You just dig your heels in and do what you have to do. I just want you to be safe though, that is my main concern. First priority. Please call the WA, let us know how we can help you. I get all stirred up when I hear a story like this so I come right out of the gate like a hurricane so I’m sorry if I came on too strong. I’m just a big mommabear. Please let us know how you are doing….
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