Coercive control

[Muna]

Is this actually taken seriously by the police? I’ve had this for (detail removed by moderator) years n finally spoke about it, the officer taking my statement kept referring to it snd took notice of the details he said were needed to evidence it but the police officer who came to see me was really rude and asked why I want to pursue a complaint about being controlled? She looked genuinely miffed, and I was equally miffed as she was a women who knew she was visiting a DV victim but appeared to have less knowledge than the male officer who isn’t a designated DV officer! Im so glad the first officer I disclosed to was compassionate and respectful, my heart goes out to anyone who plucks up the courage to make a disclosure and is met by a worker like her

[KIP.]

Ive dealt with many. With mixed results. Ive complained too and would complain again. Its ignorance with some officers. When youre feeling better, keep her name and make a complaint. One officer actually said to me he didnt kniw what i was still doing with my husband as my marriage was clearly over! Id been stalked, threatened and assaulted whilst trying to leave him! Dont take it personally ❤️

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Muna, tomorrow between 10am & 12 (i think) their a live discussion on this forum about coercive control, i recommend that you take part. I have taken part in this before & its really helpful. Its like having a personalized one to one counselling session with an expert on coercive control. My ex was a coercive controller, this website saved me from his sick games. X*X (if you have trouble finding details about it, send Lisa a message & she will tell you how to access it etc). I love this link, you might like it too. http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-n*********s-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/6/?utm_source=manipulativearcissists&utm_medium=fb&utm_campaign=ad

[strawberryshortcake]

I’ve sent a couple of messages to Lisa asking to join this group but don’t hear anything back so I’m a bit worried I’m going to miss it again. She must get loads of messages!

[Muna]

I wish i could have bern Part of that
forum HArvhivd but only just seen this.
My ex is on bail. No orders in place n no charge. They r trying to pursue one element of it but are completely missing the bigger picture! It’s the control that’s destroyed me, not the physical incidents. They all happened when I felt so low and worthless that there wasn’t really any emotional impact

[KIP.]

Hi Muna, the police can only go with the evidence that they actually have. Coercive control would be very hard to prove i would imagine. His word against yours. Perhaps they have more evidence for the element theyre going after. If youre not happy ask to speak to their supervisor x i kept phoning until i was satisfied with their explanation.

[Muna]

This was explained to me. Hard to evidence etc. Fortunately from reading someone’s posts on here I kept diary entries. It didn’t matter how insignificant it was, now I’ve learnt more about it I realise there was more controlling behaviours than I realised. I didn’t even realise I was being financially abused and when I read an article on it I can’t believe I never recognised it as it is so obvious now! Definitely keep diary records, like they told me, he can say I made up a statement after an argument but why would i fabricate stories for three months… He could still say I lied of course but he would need a good solicitor to prove it

[Author]

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