Coercive Control Law

[Lightness]

So it is a year since this law was passed. Does anyone know of any successful cases where there has not been overt physical abuse (mine was somewhat physical but mostly ‘only’ shoving, groping, throwing something at me, not letting me get medical treatment. All stuff that is hard to prove.
And how long do we get to report these things as well as all of the emotional/verbal abuse and controlling behaviours?

[KIP.]

Lightness. I would encourage you to report everything. Your statement can be used to help other victims of his should they come forward. Or future victims. Ring 101 or speak to women’s aid for advice X

[Lightness]

Thanks KIP. This sounds very sensible. I have written a lot of the abuse down since leaving – there is so much of it that I find it hard to write it in a concise way – probably because it triggers me and I get stuck in my thoughts. It would you useful to know if there is a maximum word count for a statement. I will ask women’s aid for advice.

[KIP.]

No there is no maximum. The longer and detailed the better. The police have a domestic violence unit so please make sure you ask for one of these officers. Remember we minimise abuse so what we think was just a push, pinch, something thrown is actually an assault and behaving in a threatening manner which are crimes X

[Lightness]

Thankyou KIP. You are right that we tend to minimise the abuse. I still have moments of thinking it wasn’t that bad, but when I actually think about it I remember what a nightmare it was, not to mention the devastating impact of it all x

[EeyoreNoMore]

Hi Lightness

Not sure if you’re aware but they will only include anything that happened after the law was brought in (December 2015 I think?).

I follow Laura Richards on social media and podcasts – she founded Paladin (National Stalking Hotline) and has had a strong hand in getting the coercive control laws through. She’s now campaigning with many others to get stalking sentences lengthened. Anyhow, I think there were only around 15 prosecutions last year which I guess is to be expected that it would be low. When I spoke to my DVU about it they were rubbish so you might have to push quite hard.

Good luck 👍🏻

[Lightness]

Thanks Eeyorenomore – this is all new and useful info for me xx

[Anonymous]

Sorry to tag on but I was also wondering about legal stuff.

In the past, I told a friend about an incidence where my boyfriend has abused me physically. My friend called the police and they arrested and charged him and it was all very dramatic. I hated it and it has damaged the relationship a great deal. Because I told my friend and also didn’t warn him when I knew police were involved he now blames me for all our subsequent issues, like him not being able to see my kids (previous marriage) and us not being able to live together.

Anyway so… I am now terrified of any police involvement. When subsequent things have happened I have told no one at all and also he is on high alert that I would betray him again. So I couldn’t take photos of injuries or anything. If I have my phone nearby in the house he tbjnks I might be sneaky.

I know if I ran to the bathroom during an attack he would assume I was calling the police.i am worried that would make things much worse very very quickly. No lock on his bathroom either and it’s the first floor as well… Basically no escape route.

All this makes me feel more vulnerable. Part of me really wants all the coercive control stuff he does to be on record. I have loads of texts and messages on my phone that chronical his checking up on me, accusations, reaction to any contact I have with friends or family. I would love to be able to have this on record in case any one were to use Clare law in the future, bur I really don’t want another arrest or really for him to be convicted and tried.

Is there anything I can do?

[Lightness]

Hi Lost
Are you living with your abuser?

[Author]

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