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My ex started seeing someone a few weeks after we split and on the weekends he has our children, she is there most of the time. I have told him it’s not appropriate so soon, and despite him agreeing, he continues to do it. This weekend I found out that he had left the children with her and her children for the afternoon. I have concerns because I have heard lots of stories about her bad parenting – for example, friends have often seen her 2 kids (detail removed by moderator) wandering around on the streets with her nowhere to be seen. She also takes them to the local pub and let’s them run riot while she gets drunk. Plus many other worrying stories.
Is there anything I can do to prevent her looking after my kids? Bearing in mind that my ex won’t listen if I ask him not to leave our children with her. -
I think your local women’s aid or the helpline on here will be able to give you some ideas. I wouldn’t be surprised if your ex was seeing this woman while still with you. That’s what happened to me. And I was the other woman in my abusers first marriage although he told me he was separated. So as you already know, these men are liars. You could do a welfare check with the police while he has them, sending the police round saying you’re concerned for the safety of your children. You could refuse his having the children as you’re concerned for their welfare. You could ask these people who have concerns why they haven’t informed social services if she’s such a bad mother. You could ask your children what’s going on when they’re with her. Not sure what age your kids are or if they have access to a mobile phone they could ring you if they feel unsafe. You could contact her directly and say you’ve already told their father that you do not want them left alone with her. Or you could back off completely and see how things play out (assuming your kids are safe). Your ex knows how to push your buttons. He’s already letting others look after his kids, perhaps he’s hoping you stop them from coming. Take a step back and ask yourself what you want to achieve from this. Remember your emotions will be running high. Is there a legal court order in place for contact? I’ve read on here before that while he has the kids he can leave them with whoever he wants to. Obviously as long as they’re safe. I’m sure she will soon get fed up looking after his kids.
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