- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I confronted my husband about his abusive behaviour towards the kids, his answer is shocking.
Because things he does happen on x, y or z month of year x, it is deemed to him as in a distant enough past for it not to be important…
I looked at him so intensely, I am surprised he didn’t hit me.I cannot believe what I hear from his mouth. He truly reveals the extent of his abusive nature, no sense of shame nor of responsibility…
I am actually ashamed of having married him.
-
-
Bridget,
Confronting him is having contact with him which will always empower him and weaken you. He knows what he does is wrong. He knows his words and behaviour have a negative and hurtful and damaging effect on you and the children. He doesn’t care. His addiction to Power and Control will always come first. He needs Power. This he gets by seeing you hurt, upset, damaged and your lives unmanageable. I used to see my abuser secretly laughing to himself at my upset. Oh he would pretend he was angry, he would pretend he was upset (all an act), our abusers just don’t care if we are hurting. We have to copy them and become indifferent to THEM. Our abusers hate indifference. They hate if we go No Contact. They hate if we stop engaging with them and concentrate on our own life and self-care.
Contact is ‘fuel’ for them. They thrive off our emotions. They need our emotions (negative) as they are emotionless themselves. He needs you to engage. If we stop engaging with them and go no contact they will eventually (after lots of attempts to get us to engage) go elsewhere and pick on someone else.
That’s what we have to get them to do. I’m sorry for future victims but we need to save ourselves and our children first.
-
Sounds as if you stood your ground and faced up to him. Don’t think about the fact you thought he might have hit you think about what you said and how you stood there with your eyes boring into his soul (if he has one). You’ll have rattled him no matter how he reacted, he won’t have expected you to be as strong as you have become. Well done x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
