Confused

[Missbutterfly]

Firstly I want to apologise for only ever seeming to post when I need advise instead of responding to people’s posts. The thing is I don’t think I have any useful information or advice to give. I will try soon, I promise x

I am feeling confused about whether this is normal or not. My current partner has dogs which mess in the house (they are old) and he wants to bring them over to my house because his sister is staying at his and can’t cope with it. She has a child that is over (detail removed by moderator) and I have a little one. I recently got my house back and am trying to make it home. I couldn’t cope with dog mess everywhere.

He said tonight the problem is between me and his sister as neither of us want them but I don’t think that is fair. However it is making me feel really guilty.

My friend said he is guilt tripping me but I keep thinking I am in the wrong and don’t know how to deal with this 🙁

I am currently receiving the silent treatment and he is sleeping on the sofa.

Thanks for reading x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, it’s good to see you back. Stand your ground you’re far from being unreasonable and guess who’d end up cleaning up after the dogs. They are his not your responsibility.and what he’s expecting of you is far from normal. You have a young child to consider. Think of the germs, what if they put it in their mouth, or in their eyes? This should be your main boundary that he cannot cross, if he pushes, you know he had no regards fir you, your child or your home. so he’s giving you the silent treatment, time for him to grow up, sulking does not get rewarded. The problem is not between you and his sister, the problem is his and his alone. If he won’t accept it, tell him it’s time to go back to his own house and see where the relationship goes from there. Please try and be strong on this. What a bl..dy chancer. And Missbutterfly, you have plenty of good input to give, your time will come. Meanwhile keep posting, reading others posts. These men never fail to amaze me with how entitled they think they are.
Take care, remember take no s..t🤣
IWMB 💞💞

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi MB,

Completely agree with IWMB! His dogs, his issue – not yours. Stick to your gut on this, what I am reading from your post is that you don’t want these dogs in your house. You don’t even have to put a reason to it, because it is your house, so what you say goes. Simple as that. He has already given you all the reason you need anyway to say no – who would want dogs messing around in their house? Perhaps he should have invested more time in the dogs and have taught them not to. Alternatively, there are kennels out there where the dogs could stay at. But whatever he says, it most certainly is not a problem between you and his sister. It is his problem that his dogs mess, so he can find a solution to where the dogs can be himself. The sheer fact he can say that the dogs HE owns is now somehow a problem for two other women in his life is… I’m lost for words. Stick to your gut, you can’t cope with them in your house, that’s all there is to it. If he can’t respect that, what else might he not respect down the road?
Sending you strength

[fizzylem]

Yes, his dogs his responsibilty. As sad as this is he either keeps them at his home or has them put to sleep. Some owners have their dogs put to sleep when they get old and mess for this very reason; we decided to do this with our old labby when she had a stroke instead of caring for her right up until the end because my mum couldn’t cope with the dog mess anymore. Guess some folk agree with this and others won’t. It can be a kind and brave act as it prevents the dog from hitting crisis point and dying in terrible pain. Guess some think we should care for them right up until their natural end too and anything else would be letting the dog down. It’s a very tough call and I won’t judge anyone for their decision, it is the owners decsion to make and no one elses.

It’s great that you are able to acknowledge you simply can not take this on. This is all you need to say, you understand the difficulty and feel for him and the dogs but it has to be a no, you have perfectly understandable reasons for not wanting to take this on, a young child and a nice home x

[fizzylem]

You actually don’t need to ‘do’ anything here, except offer your sympathy and emotional support. He’s trying to make you feel you have some responsibilty – that it’s a shared responsibilty now we are a couple when this is not true and unfair of him to try and place this on you. He asked, fair enough, but you said no and he should respect that. I don’t think many people at all that would sign up for this. Think most would say no.

[Missbutterfly]

Thanks everyone.

Last night he barely spoke to me and slept on the sofa. Normally he texts me in the day but today, nothing. He popped in to see our daughter for 2 minutes on his break but other than that totally ignored.

I feel really bad about the dogs and both him and his sister have made me feel really bad 🙁

Thanks again X

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