Confused

[Findinghope]

I split up from partner (detail removed by Moderator).
Still ongoing abuse… but then the way he talks the talk makes me feel like it is my fault.
He is settled with another women.
But he is not acknowledging that I find it uncomfortable for him to be constantly bringing his new girlfriend round the house… it was my child’s birthday (detail removed by Moderator) and they have been round all day. I wouldn’t stop him being round but the both of them just felt so disrespectful… especially after years of him making excuses not to be there for the full day.
I also feel really guilty for being nice and getting on with them both when they are here… especially knowing what he has put me through.

In process of trying to sort out the house…. he wants me to buy him out 50/50… yes he did work on the house but he never paid anything towards bills or mortgage and I am trying to find the energy to see a solicitor to sort it out. He has taken away the keys to a car that I pay insurance on…saying he will do more things to make my life inconvenient if I don’t comply with speaking to an advisor about the house… saying that if I screw him over then I am doing that to my child’s dad and it is unfair.

I feel so confused and stressed at the moment. Struggling to find a way out of this feeling… makes me feel like I want to give up as it’ll never end.

[Marmalade]

Hi Findinghope,
I think it would be a really good idea to talk to a solicitor to get some legal advice on the likely division of assets. If you are married, the starting point on a divorce is 50/50, but a solicitor can tell you whether there are any factors in your financial situation which influence that. If you are not married then there is a closer look at contributions. Choose a solicitor who does family law. Some solicitors offer the first 30 minutes free. If you get one of these, make good use of the time by having a list ready of all the finances you know about.
Good luck.

[Findinghope]

Hi, thank you for your reply. I am not married which makes it a bit more complicated but yes I will try and build up the courage to get legal advice x

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