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    • #7202
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hello and Happy new year to you all
      I went away and had min contact with my ex
      He was contacting and when I got back he came around and asked me to come stay overnight at his .. I never went
      He asked again and I still never went the following day he had the women he has been seeing over . I went from his girlfriend into the other women and his other women has turned into his girlfriend . He contacted me as soon as she left in the morning to ask if I would come over
      I told him no and to not contact me again . He texted me yesterday and I ignored it .. But I feel like rubbish …He hides me from her but does not hid her from me . So I am always the one having a go at him and as she is not so aware of the situation she is seen as the stable one causing no drama with him.. so he goes back to her as I can’t deal with the upset and come across as unstable
      It feels so hurtful to be painted as the one who is always changing my mind so he then can justify he is with her because she does not mess him about .its just crazy making . And he is the one chasing me !
      I needed to get this out as I have no one at all to talk to about this .
      Big hugs to you all xx

    • #7203
      katielove
      Participant

      I think you are doing the right thing with no contact or minimum contact. Perhaps you can put it in writing: email or a text that you do not want him to contact you and then you have proof. Stand your ground and keep away. Remember, he wants to have his cake and eat it (it sounds like this anyway) and will say you are unstable if you do not agree to his wishes as these abusers will try anything to get what they want. As hard as it is just ignore him.

      Another useful thing that I did was to keep a log of the things he said to me and how it made me feel. It is good to get it out of your system in this way.

      I hope you find a way to feel happier x

    • #7204
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi Savingmyself

      Cake and eat it comes to mind.

      The best thing is zero contact so he can not manipulate you. You deserve to number one and not always wondering what he’s up to.

      Stay strong

      xx

    • #7210
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Thank you for the advice and support beautiful souls xx

    • #7893
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      hello all
      I have been managing to ignore him and have been reading lots on a site called chump lady
      And I think I have turned a corner as I just do not want to see him as it always causes me more hurt
      He has demonstrated how he feels about me by hitting me and cheating on me and has show that I do not matter to him ..I know it is not about how lovable I am it is about his character .
      He will never be able to love me the way I deserve to be loved
      He has not left me alone but he is now with someone else
      I have not been with Him for over (detail removed by moderator) and I know I am done
      I am very lonely but I know that do not want to get involved with him anymore
      He thinks if he keeps on at me I will give in
      But never again I am done .

      Big hugs xx

    • #7904
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey Hun

      Finally can login and reply to u , ladies r so right he wants his cake and the cream , what a selfish prat ,keep away from him, could u block him , well done for recognising u r lonely but shouldn’t accept treatment like that of guys ,u r worth so much more and slowly sMe one will come into your life , fact that u said he has hit u b4 shows has no respect for u, stay strong and post if u need to

    • #7912
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi con123 thank you for your support you are so kind you always give everyone good advise
      I read a lot on here but posting is not easy
      Yes I have realised when our partners abuse us in any way that they have shown us that they do not care . He has badly injured me in the past . Their character will not change .
      I hope I do find someone to be a team with that would be nice but I don’t really go out and have no friends in this city so I can’t see it at the moment
      Hope you are okay and getting your life back
      Big hugs to you xx

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