Confused and so so sad

[Munchkin04]

Please does anybody else’s partner show frustration towards them when you feel unwell. I have had a nasty cold and he goes on and on “ what’s wrong are you ok what have I done wrong” I reassured him that he hadn’t done anything but then he went on to say I’m dragging him down. I got upset which he got angry about and started shouting on and on that I don’t listen that I don’t understand. He said he felt uneasy around me because I look like I’m peeeed off with him. Again I reassure him. He goes off on one and puts on this voice that scares me. Shouting. He’s now gone out and I’m left in a heap wondering what I’ve done. Why wasn’t my reassurance enough. He didn’t accept it. Why tell me I’m dragging him down when he knows I feel terribly unwell. I don’t understand anymore

[Cedarlemon]

Hi Munchkin

Just seen your post and I can empathise with this . Abusers hate attention being taken off them and you having a cold and feeling under the weather means to him that you can’t put all the attention on him . You have done nothing wrong and are not dragging him down , of course it’s a different story when they are Ill .. They have no empathy if it’s not about them .. Hope you feel better soon and, just remember this is his problem not yours x

[Weak Link]

Hi,

I really thought my husband only did this to me. He would pester me until I became annoyed and snapped. Then he would say ‘see I knew you were mad at me.’

Definitely do not fall for that. You have not done anything wrong. I’m sorry he is making you feel like this when you are unwell.

[Munchkin04]

Thank you for your replies. I have begun to realise that unless the spotlight is on him he’s not happy. It’s happened before when I’ve been unwell. Who says to their loved one they drag them down when they are unwell. My partner provokes and provokes and doesn’t stop going on until I flip them yes tells me I’m mad and need help. It’s so tiring and emotional. X

[Author]

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