- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I never realised before but since reading all this and after confronting about a few things I see what he is doing the last (removed by moderator) he is acting Mr nice guy, can’t do enough and I know this has happened so many times before but I know it’s an act and every time things are ok for a week are so then we go back to how things where before and I just don’t want to do this anymore… but what I do feel is that this confuses my head so much as how do I complain about him when he is currently been nice! and if I do everyone will look and think what’s wrong with you… for instance the last couple of days he has been (removed by moderator), tidying and couldn’t a tree. Can’t do enough for me as I told him all this should have been done but now.. previously he did nothing I’ve struggled for months to get presents in for (removed by moderator) children, he doesn’t work I do, struggled (removed by moderator) on my own to look after children and work no help no help with house… today he did the dishes he said he is doing it for me to keep me happy!
Doing it for me??? I said no you do it Cos it needs done like I do every day not for me!
I have realised that I don’t want this life a few helpful things over last few days will that fix years of not allowing me to do anything keeping my credit and debit cards accusing me of sleeping with his mates, wanting to know whers I am all of the time following me around checking my phone.
I mean why should I continue to put up with it..
but then (removed by moderator) of been overly helpful and I’m so confused, I feel bad for wanting to leave for some reason, my head is done in… but I do not want this life x -
If he was mean all the time then you’d leave – he has to be nice sometimes so that you’ll stay – feels like it never happened in his book doesnt it and resume – back to normal – only it feels very different for you, as you have learnt there will be a next and the misery will only continue – you are right of course x
-
Keep a secret log of his behaviour. It’ll help you gain clarity and see the patterns to the abuse. The mr nice guy is part of the abusive cycle too, it keeps us hooked. My husband does this but soon gets bored and starts up again. He gives with one hand and takes with the other. He said he’d help with the dogs walks. Day two and he was whinging.
-
Yes and after years and reading into things it’s clear that Iv been sucked into this for years so many family and friends for years saying why you putting up with this and me thjnking he will change, he said he would and slowing it goes back again. I think he can’t help it he blames past experiences but he is never going to change now it’s been (detail removed by moderator) years. I fool myself to think he can. Yet he is funny and charming and that has kept me sucked in 😞 x*x
I want to leave but I don’t know how x*x -
-
My husband also can be funny and charming too. But he’s also an irritable, moody nightmare.
I want out too.
I’ve stared with small steps. I went to see my local WA first. They helped me make a housing application which I’m
Still busy processing. I’ve decluttered and took my important documents to a family member. I’ve been seeking financial advice. I’ve talked to a few friends. I’ve took copies of important documents related to the house.
Small steps. You can make a new life for yourself x -
My ex could be witty, charming, loving, attentive and caring. He was a superb actor. Once you see through that mask it’s glaringly obvious who he really is and how superficial he really is. Once you know his game you spot the motive for him being witty, charming, loving etc. It’s false. It’s designed to hide the abuse and our brains keep pushing this positive behaviour to the front because facing the reality is just too shocking and painful. That’s why a journal is a great idea x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
