Connecting from across the big pond

[Brightmoor]

Hi..Thank you for letting me in here. I have a long history with domestic abuse/violence. I’m soon to be (detail removed by moderator) , but I still feel young in body and mind. I grew up in a little neighborhood in a very big city way to (detail removed by moderator). (I see that the moderators blank out specifics so, although I have no problem giving any, I’ll try to save them the job!)
I grew up (detail removed by moderator) with abusive parents, mother who was mostly cold to me, dad who was hard-working but drank to excess. She pushed his buttons, he’d get angry, they would fight. It would often escalate into brawling, with him gaining the upper hand. (I’m just glossing to make long story shorter.) At (detail removed by moderator), I saw him chase her out of the house carrying a (detail removed by moderator). He then (detail removed by moderator) and after a period where neighbors tried to negotiate with him, he (detail removed by moderator). As you can imagine, I had a long road of recovery, but I did grow up relatively ok, in spite of it.
After one failed marriage (we were just too young) a few failed relationships, married a second time, raised three kids. I always knew something wasn’t quite right, but I just accepted and got on with things. After about (detail removed by moderator) or so, things got very weird (or at least I finally noticed!). After years of this, I realized that spouse has what appears to be a latent type of covert (vulnerable) abusive behaviour (or emerging after dormancy, maybe?) and also what looks like some sort of psychosis (drug-induced, as I later learned), which escalated to the point where I finally left for good. After gas lighting, triangulation, smearing and other tactics, finally becoming physically aggressive, I ran away. I lost my entire family, as they had all been “drinking the kool-aid” for years and believed all the lies he had been telling.
Since then, I’ve gone from being homeless (living in car for a bit) to couch-surfing to boarding house to home-owning, within (detail removed by moderator). It’s been a bumpy road and I’m still in recovery, although I’ve learned that I’m very tough and resilient! I’ve lots more to share, but this is the gist.

 

 

 

[Lisa]

Hi Brightmoor,
Welcome to the Forum. By the sounds of it you’ve been through some really difficult, abusive situations which must have taken you a lot of strength to get out of. Sorry to hear that your family haven’t been supportive; you’ve clearly done the right thing by leaving. Do you have any other support in place?
Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on,
Best wishes,
Lisa,
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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