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    • #161590
      Llgirl
      Participant

      In terms of child contact, is there anyone who can advise in terms of, if their ex partner is charged with any assaults or coercive control in criminal court what sort of access they have to the children?

      Private message me please if it’s easier to speak not on public forum.

      Really struggling to find any advice about this online as I think all too common they don’t get charged for multiple reasons

    • #161596
      Marmalade
      Participant

      It is vanishingly rare for coercive control cases on their own to reach criminal court. Roughly 94% don’t get there.
      Coercive control charges can be tagged on to assault charges as the latter are generally easier to prove.
      We can’t discuss individual cases here, but what happens in yours will depend on your particular circumstances.
      Good luck.

      • #161630
        Llgirl
        Participant

        Yes assault charges as well

    • #161618
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hello Llgirl

      I didn’t know whether this link might be useful to follow up on, as it’s something that’s recently been reported on national news by the BBC, and involves research into the agencies involved in children’s contact orders and court where there’s been criminal convictions and known abusers.

      It might be grim reading though, but it will perhaps be an eye opener to the current situation that you are asking about. Good luck for your situation, and here’s the link Click this: the bias of court in contact after reported abuse

      warmest wishes

      ts

      • #161632
        Llgirl
        Participant

        Gosh, why do they say supervised only until they investigate if they are going to force contact when they are charged ???

      • #161638
        Twisted Sister
        Participant

        Family courts seem to work on the basis of 50/50, and ignore, in many cases, known guilty convictions for violent and sexual offenses. It’s something that’s been brought to the greater public’s knowledge only recently, but has been going on a long long time, and children/women have died.

        You have to simply push to keep your children safe as best you can, and fight against contact with an abuser. Unfortunately this may include arguing with your own legal counsel, because these cases had full legal teams and have cost in the millions to the tax payer and the woman trying to keep herself and her children safe.

        legal counsel also seem to try to stop you ‘living in the past’, and ‘look to the future’, the behaviours were ‘abberations’, and the result of joint abuses, so equal blame instead of reviewing the coercive control legislation and following it, as they are supposed to.

        The trouble is, it also pulls the rug completely from under women who may have already struggled to be heard, to have a voice, to say their truth, and this can be incredibly damaging to them. Don’t let anyone tell you that they know better about your abuser.

        I wish you every strength, and hope that you can keep talking and holding your truth.

        warmest wishes

        ts

      • #161645
        Marmalade
        Participant

        Hi, Women here are wonderfully supportive and give encouragement and support from their own experience, but no one here can give you legal advice on your case. I am really concerned at any post which could be read as saying women should not listen and consider their own lawyer’s legal advice.
        If you have a solicitor representing you in contact proceedings then that solicitor puts forward your case in correspondence and court. They also advise you on the law and what is likely to happen in court. They have a duty to accurately tell you what is likely to occur and what is the best course for you. No one can say what they will advise in your case as it depends on your particular circumstances. Sometimes women like the advice, sometimes not if it is different to what they want or what they feel is best, but the solicitor is giving advice on what is likely to happen. The woman can choose to follow the advice or ignore it, but ignoring it risks a worse outcome.
        The solicitors give this advice whether they are in a firm, or in an organisation like Rights of Women. They have to be honest and cannot say just what people want to hear.
        You really need proper advice on what is likely to happen with contact in your particular circumstances which no one here can know.
        So, if you have support services working with you like DA workers, social services etc then talk to them. Talk to a solicitor. Some solicitors offer the first 30 minutes consultation free. Look for one who does family law. You can also ring Rights of Women. They have a family law helpline. They are only open limited hours and it is often difficult to get through, but it is worth keeping on trying as they are very helpful.
        Good luck with everything.
        It sounds like a very difficult time. I know what it feels like to wait for charging decisions. Get all the support and professional advice you can.

      • #161649
        Twisted Sister
        Participant

        This is a far wider-reaching negative impact, which is happening and causing harm Marmalade. This is from research and university academic’s reports, which tells us what the reality of court is for women and their children, as it currently stands.

        All parties collude in this deviation from justice, the law, govt guidelines, and safeguarding and women need to be aware, this is bigger than all of us, or any individual solicitor/counsel/agency.

        I hope it is a given that noone unfamiliar with the particulars of any given case, and not having the legal grounding, speaking their experiences here, are the same as a legal perspective from your own counsel, but counsel are failing to keep women safe in courts also.

        I hope you can see what a huge problem this is, and the impact not only on contact, but on women’s state of mind in holding onto their truth throughout wherever proceedings may lead them.

        warmest wishes

        ts

      • #161652
        Marmalade
        Participant

        Twisted Sister
        Solicitors and barristers do not fail to keep women safe. They act for the women. They can only advise on the current law and court precedent and they have to follow the current law. If change is needed, it has to be a change in the law at statute, judicial practice direction or government guidance level.

        I will strongly challenge any posts which have the effect of disssuading women from seeking legal advice so preventing them from knowing their rights. One of the main aims of this forum is to provide information on access to professional support and advice, not to actively discourage people from trusting or approaching family lawyers.

        You are always fantastic at offering support. I am sorry that you have obviously had a bad personal experience as we all have in varying degrees. I also have read the BBC reports in depth.
        Nothing changes my view that it is vitally important for ladies here to access professional advice including legal support and advice on their situations.

      • #161654
        Twisted Sister
        Participant

        Marmalade

        Without reading into the detail of your post, I think its fair to say we had both previously made clear our points.

        Warmest wishes & thank you.

    • #161619
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      also, for free legal advice on specifically children involved in court there is Coram Children Centre, or something like that, which is an England only organisation I believe. They run a helpline if you search online for a number for them.

    • #162754
      StrongLife
      Participant

      I would get lawyers. Be careful with ex and kids – they will do anything there. Make sure you get agreements on child custody etc. Be brave on this.

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