Contact with child

[backtome]

My little girl said recently that she didn’t want to see Daddy. She said she wanted to meet him for lunch with me there as well. I eventually persuaded her by saying she may be able to play with her cousin if she goes to see Daddy. When she arrived her Dad said she couldn’t see her cousin that day so my little girl got upset and wanted to come home saying she didn’t want to leave me. She clearly wasn’t bothered about seeing her Dad, only the prospect of playing with her cousin. Eventually Dad persuaded Aunty to bring Cousin out so she could play so then daughter was willing to go with Dad.

Fast forward and my daughter is saying again she doesn’t want to see Daddy for next contact. I don’t think there’s a specific safeguarding concern as such, I just think she doesn’t have that much fun when she’s with him and she’d rather be somewhere else doing something else if that makes sense. It’s almost like he’s at the bottom of her priority pile in terms of people she wants to see.

So my question is, do I make her have contact with him when doesn’t want to, or listen to her and let her stay home if she wants to?

[BakingQueen]

Hi backtome,

If you don’t have a child arrangement order (court order) in place then you can withhold visitation on the basis that your daughter doesn’t want to go, if you choose to.

If you do have an arrangement order then she will need to go with him (as far as I know) and you would need to go back to court to amend the arrangement order and they would take the child’s opinion into account.

Go with your gutt. If it was me personally I wouldn’t make my child go if they didn’t want to. I understand and support them having a relationship but if the child is saying no, there is a reason. Maybe have a chat with her and find out why she doesn’t want to go. Get her to articulate her feelings so you can better gauge the situation.

Good Luck.

[backtome]

Thanks Baking Queen – there’s no order in place. I’ve tried talking to her but she can’t or won’t tell me a reason she just says she doesn’t know. She’s very young (Detail removed by moderator) and she struggles dealing with her emotions as it is. I want her to feel listened to and like I will take care of her, but at the same time I don’t want to be accused of alienating her from her Dad, especially if he did decide to go down the court route if I were say she doesn’t have to see him.

x

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