Contact with child

[midnightshadow]

Hi all,

I was in an physically and mentally abusive relationship with my son’s dad. When we broke up I said he had to see his son supervised and not overnight as he was especially violent. This was originally by members of his family. When he kept my son overnight I then supervised contact so he couldn’t put my son at risk again. It took a long time to build up the strength to get back to normal. I went to 3 or 4 different counsellors. Recently my son is a bit older and he is more interested in seeing my son more but I said to him he had to see him supervised. As soon as he started asking for unsupervised contact I got very nervous and anxious about my sons safety. I haven’t been sleeping. He sent nasty messages about me and my family when I said it had to be supervised. He said I was being controlling. All I want is for my son to be safe but to also know his dad. I decided to go to court and get it official but it is going to take a while. I am frightened that a judge may feel there’s not enough evidence but hoping counsellor reports and child services statements are enough. Has anyone had these experiences? I am scared to go see him for contact after those messages because he didn’t get what he wanted. I am scared he will hurl abuse at me. I recommended myself for a local therapy service but there is a long waiting list. I can’t seem to get this out of my head. I keep reliving the abuse again. Do you just never move on?

Thank you in advance

[Lisa]

Hi midnightshadow

I just wanted to show you some support. It sounds like you have been through a lot, your ex partner is trying to continue his controlling behaviour and abuse through contact with your son which must be very upsetting for you.

Please have a look at the Rights of Women website which has lots of information about court or try and get through to them on their helpline.

If you are scared to see him then maybe you could wait until court or ask a third party to help so you are not at risk. Keep those messages as evidence and you could log his abusive behaviour with the police.

I am glad you are on a waiting list for therapy, it’s a shame there is a long waiting list. You could see if your local domestic abuse service are running any support groups.

Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are.

Lisa

[Author]

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