Contacted his ex girlfriend

[arandomname]

I feel like I’m living in a film. I still can’t believe that this is my life now.

On the day I left, I messaged his ex girlfriend whom I’ve never met but found on social media.
I asked for her version of why they broke up because I’ve always had a feeling that something else went on there.

Long story short, he was eerily the same with her and this was years and years ago. They grew up together.

She couldn’t believe that he tells people that she cheated on him and left him. She says that didn’t happen, and I believe her. He always used that as an excuse for his current insecurities and it never even happened!

He is still being very apologetic and promising to get better but I’m done trusting him.

I met with a new therapist today. She said I must be the strongest, most emotionally healthy person she’s ever met. She said it is nearly impossible to live with the abuse I have been for as long as I have without going crazy. I mean, I did fall into depression but I guess it’s understandable!
I’ve been having this argument in my head for years, for most of the time we’ve been together. One side screaming at me to see the red flags and trust my gut already, and the other hoping things would get better and that’s it’s easier to stay.

I know a lot of you are in similar positions. So just remember – we are f-ing strong!

[KIP.]

Hi there. There’s nothing eerie about it. The more you find out about domestic abusers the more you will see they simply follow a pattern. Living With The Dominator by Pat Craven is a fantastic book. When I read it I thought someone had sat down with my ex. I saw my exes wife divorce papers where she mentions his drinking, unreasonable behaviour and accusations of her cheating. Fast forward decades and he’s divorced again by me. Just took me longer to work it out. I also saw documents from his new gf where she accuses me almost word for word what he told me his first wife was like. Problem for him is I have never met his gf so I know exactly where her statements came from. And your therapist is correct. Abused women are the strongest in the world. To survive what we do can only take immense strength. So use that strength in your recovery x

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