Control

[smallbutbrave]

How do you cope when your partner won’t allow you to see your loved ones?

It is a threat that has been made towards me in the last week or so and I am just wondering what would happen if I just ignored this threat and saw loved one anyway

[Bananaboat]

Impossible for any of us to say exactly what will happen but it’s likely you’ll ‘pay’ in some way. This could range from him just making nasty comments, you might get the silent treatment or he’ll stay out – through to something serious and/or physical. Or you might get a total mind fkery of him saying have a great time and he’ll bank it for a fight or excuse down the line. It really depends on him. The more important point is are you going to comply with his demand or do you want to see your family if & when you want which might require setting a boundary (which he’ll throw a tantrum over) and are you safe? So hard isn’t it x

[smallbutbrave]

I really want to see my family, it is my time away from him aswell.

If I don’t comply and go aahead there will be a price to pay i guess. I am hoping I can talk him round. I just don’t know how anyone would want to stop their partner seeing family.

Setting boundaries is just never going to happen for me. He would be outraged!

[Darknessallaround]

Yes, when you go against them there’s always a price to pay… It just depends on your particular partner what that price is likely to be, and whether you can cope with the fallout of going against him.

From personal experience, I can say that if you give in once, it will make it much harder not to cave in again. Before you know it, your world suddenly gets a lot smaller, months and years pass and you realise you don’t live anything approaching a normal life anymore.
You try to set boundaries and getting your partner to keep to them is seen by the abuser as a challenge to be taken on and won.

I hope you are able to see your family.

[Author]

Posts