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    • #125360
      gettingtired
      Participant

      How are you supposed to cope with life when you realise you’ve been living a lie for years and everything suddenly comes crashing down around you?

    • #125364
      Darcy
      Participant

      Good morning beautiful Angel … Gettingtired,
      Start from today … what has pasted, has pasted.
      I love this saying
      ”Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending”
      Use your energy to focus on moving forward and not going back.
      We all make mistakes, but it’s how we learn from them that is important and that we don’t keep repeating them.
      It’s time now to start to forgive yourself and move forward.
      Sending you continued love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #125365
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      I will never forget the moment the walls of denial came down in my mind and I saw the reality of my situation and the abuse I had been enduring. It changed my perspective on everything, the world suddenly looked completely different. I realised how powerful my mind was; that’s why abusers brainwash us, locking up another human is illegal and easily discovered, building an invisible prison for them in their own mind is much more difficult to escape. How to free yourself from a trap you can’t see?
      You free yourself by seeing the walls, like you can now. And know that there’s a door in that wall, and your mind also holds the key.
      I coped by action; I told my friend, my work colleague and my sibling what was happening. That kept the walls of denial down, and their support was invaluable. I coped by recognising that my physical body had been telling me to get out for years; my anxiety disorder was fear. My depression; misery. So I listened to my body for once, and it was saying “Run for your life!”, and so I did. And though it has been difficult, escaping is the best and bravest thing I have, or will ever do in my life. And you can do it too xx

    • #125366
      beachhut
      Participant

      You will cope, and find your own way to do it. I removed the mask I had been hiding behind and let people know what I had been going through, I spoke to my friends and family and anyone else who asked and told my truth, the responses were all positive and they helped my get away from the life of lies and destruction I was living in. The only mask I wear now is due to COVID restrictions. You can so do this, let people see and help the real you.

      Take care of you, beachhutXx

    • #125404
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      its his lie. He has played his manipulations on you, and this is not your fault, but its still a shock when you can suddenly see thro it, see thro the screen he continually builds to hide his abuse.

      you have come to a place of clarity! Thats your first step to action. your call to arms.

      I read recently its far worse to be in a dire situation and be unaware, than to be in a dire situation and aware, as once you are aware you have your mind back, and now you have arrived at this point, you can start to build your new decisions and your own direction.

      Time is also need to heal from the harm he has done to you, and the loss you feel of what you believed you had, your hopes and dreams. Be kind to yourself, and allow yourself time to heal, to lick your wounds and to understand how to best help yourself now and for your future. Your future without the abuse. Baby steps.

      warmest wishes

      TS

    • #125415
      Watersprite
      Participant

      These posts moved me so much it is devastating when we realise. Like a blindfold being ripped off and there stands the snarling wolf no more mr nice guy and even periods of nice we know are just a game they play. I used to observe it all and in my head name it for what it was ‘that’s gaslighting’ that is control that is rape that is assault that is threat etc whilst I got support from services and ran – never ever to go back. GT go really gently with yourself it’s hard to realise but it’s a step forwards it’s progress it really is x*x

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