Could Have Used Support

[Rising Tide]

Just a c**p day. My therapist cancelled because of an emergency and my support group was cancelled with no communication.

My ex is sending strange emails trying to get more time with the kids, but seems more paranoid about (detail removed by moderator) than actually bonding with his kids.

I need some space to rant and wish I could change things. I don’t want to go to court over child visitation since you never know what the judge will do. And my ex isn’t doing anything illegal, just being generally manipulative and trying to keep up appearances, so I don’t think there’s much I can do to change the situation.

It makes me so sad that he can’t put his own kids’ best interest in front of his own. He isolates the kids on his weekends. They don’t see their friends or take part in any group activities. They just see their dad and his parents (who are as bad as he is). I worry he’s trying to isolate them like he did to me. He spoils them with gifts and trips, which is fine, but there’s no balance. He doesn’t know their friends or their teachers. There’s no one who would hold him accountable if he was trying to manipulate the kids.

I know all I can do is provide as safe and healthy a home for my kids as possible. But is so frustrating to watch their dad and not be able to change it.

[KIP.]

Keep a journal of his behaviour and perhaps change to text messages and buy an old mobile phone purely for his nonsense then you can switch it off and have some peace and quiet and you still have a record of the conversations. A legally binding access order is sometimes the only way to get some control back. Otherwise you have years of him chopping and changing just to upset you and the kids. There will come a time when the kids will vote with their feet when they’re old enough. Meantime, cut all contact with the idiot to the absolute minimum. He will hopefully tire himself out when you switch the phone off x

[Rising Tide]

Thank you. I do journal his behaviour just in case I ever need it. And I have an email account that is just for him, so I can log out until I’m ready.

It helps to be heard. Thank you.

[Author]

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