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    • #16474
      betterdays
      Participant

      To go and put sone air in my tyres I were that scared I had to get a friend to do it. How bass that? It just terrified me the thought incase I did something wrong. He always did that bit all these new things I’ve never done before are terrifying first time round. X

    • #16476

      You cant do anything wrong, you just need to be shown how to do it and get some simple explanations, have someone with you the first few times you need to adjust your tires and you will be fine, I think for a lady it’s also intimidating to be watched by strangers in a petrol station (I feel intimidated) but the more often you try to do it the more confident you will be.
      For me it’s the idea of pursuing the divorce, living alone, and getting my own mortgage, I am frightened of not being able to cope.
      I know how you feel, but you need to try and do all these things on your own, you have the right to feel intimidated, you simply need to be the builder of your very own confidence, step by step.
      Think how chuffed you will feel when you realise how easy all those little tasks are in the end! Dont let him still “live” in your head and make you feel frightened, worried, intimidated, dont let him steal your confidence 🙂

      • #16477
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi bjif I too were terrified of living alone with my (detail removed by moderator) sons who are autistic. I left him (detail removed by moderator) mnths ago. After not far of 2 decades moved out left my mortgage house standing till someone has now made me an offer. Luckily it were only in my name. Time is a great healer I must admit. But the freedom programme saved my life. After going on that i never felt the same as I recognised what he were doing. I get very low days still. I’ve been no contact now a month he’s still trying to reel me in but if I react il be in the gutter again. You will get there I promise x

    • #16483
      Serenity
      Participant

      My ex monopolised the finances and car servicing etc and I felt inept when alone, at first.

      But a single mum friend I had assured me that you will learn to do these things, and find out you are capable and that they aren’t that difficult after all!

      I think our abusers try to take over so that we become frightened of the smallest things. It’s part of how they keep us with them. By making us s area of the outside world. They pretend they are our protectors, but really disempower us.

      Imagine how great you will feel once you can do these things alone! I have loads I need to learn to do- inflating tyres being one of them. Xx

    • #16486
      Serenity
      Participant

      Typing error: by making us scared of the outside world

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