counselling tomorrow

[diymum@1]

So im all set off to start the trauma counselling tomorrow – im so apprehensive, yet again my head is in a spin. its so strange how you go through phases off complete clarity and then back to the fog again. I dont really understnad my thinking here (at all) maybe im mad? but when it comes to meeting any authorities ie police, counselling services im totally triggered.

For a few days now ive been reading a few posts and im so amazed at the women who manage to act and get out of these relationships. I never did that he took the reigns so to speak. I suppose i did eventually say enough is enough. Are we scared of approaching services because we are so used to being ignored/ not taken seriously? when it comes to articulating ourselves under pressure (certainly for me) i go to peices. The police terrify me for some reason, i also dont like the stigma attached to the police being at my door. All of my neighbours saw the large holes that he made in my door when we first split for good. The shame was/is huge.

Ive started over and i still feel shame i dont talk about my past much to my new partner or his family. They must wonder why i attract all of this ‘trouble’ why i dont speak to my daughter – its all unspoken glazed over in converstation/avoided. i guess im scared to start this counselling in case i face this and cant handle my feelings. i dont really want to tell any one im even going! is this normal? maybe im just scared to face my demons and past so full on? does anyone feel that theve been keeping a massive secret inside them for so long?

euch i dont know x*x i really hope what ive written makes sense! xx much love diymum

[freedomtochoose]

Yes, how you feel is completely normal.
If the counsellor is good and accredited by BABCP or similar organisations you will be able to google this.

She will do boundary setting – which is a demonstration of the ethical framework and you can google this too. The counsellor will probably start with grounding techniques. is it NHS or private? You may wish to tell us here which theoretical or practical orientation the counsellor is and how you are finding that…person-centred? CBT/CFT? you can ask these questions to them too.

It is not surprising that you are wary of anyone in uniform e.t.c

I have this too, at times still – although I’ve worked through a lot of it. I’m not scared of the police now but very assertive. It has been a very long road though to get to that point.

I think personally it comes from an awareness of power structures and how destructive they can be. We’ve been at the sharp end of that.

So particularly important that these are transparent for you – and explained.

I think it is good you are not telling anyone you are going. You are space for you. Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself afterwards…

ftc
x

[diymum@1]

Thankyou, i will its a free service and they will assess my needs and maybe refer me on according to the lady i spoke to this morning. its good to know that im not over reacting to all of this 🙂

Its one foot infront of the other with this too isnt it? were good at that and we know eventually we get there.

I think im partly worried that this wont resolve my issues and i want to rebuild my relationship with my eldest daughter/ who is very much still connected to my ex. Im great at asking people to be positive and i know i really have to be in going forward. i am a pretty private person although i am totally honest on here but its so different when we can do this anonymously xx

i might buy myself a big cream bun after wards ftc 🙂 thanks for the info and support – i hope i do get seen after all as its first come first served so the 1st 5 people get seen – its a drop in run by the nhs xx i will see tomorrow xx luv diymum

[maddog]

Hope it all goes well diymum@1. I’m just coming to the end of my counselling. It has been hard work but incredibly helpful. I was shocked by how I was feeling, although the senses I have been experiencing are apparently completely normal. I do feel so much better in so many ways and finally I feel I have some sort of future. It also feels much better to not be responsible for the actions of others. This has been a lifelong burden and it’s good for it to be lifting. You will get there!

[diymum@1]

I just hope to be feeling better and hopefully address my issues. I have to if I’m going to everything I plan to. Not sure how this will all work. I’ve never had CBT, nothing just a chat with a counsellor a handful of times. I was hoping he would give me answers, I guess they lead you to answering your self. We will see ☺thanks for the comments and support and I’m so glad to hear that your feeling better 😊love diymum x*x

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