- This topic has 16 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I made contact with a friend of a friend recently who said that they ‘help women with unsolvable problems’. I was encouraged by the friend to make contact. Anyway, I did and spoke to them. They listened when I told them what I had been through and they said they could help me to work the relationship out. They didn’t even acknowledge that it was an abusive relationship, despite what I had told them. And they wanted £4,500 for the privilege of counselling but reduced to £2,500 because I was a friend of a friend 😂😂 Needless to say, I won’t be taking them up on their offer.
-
I’m glad you saw right through them. Sadly I wonder how many victims will have their life made worse by ‘counsellors’ with no understanding. ‘Life coaches’ are another group of people who offer assistance and perhaps aren’t best qualified to recognise abuse and mental issues around abuse. Someone will get sued x they can charge what the like and call themselves what they like. Dangerous game x
-
-
So glad you deftly side-stepped this!
Only £2,500 as you’re a friend! How unprofessional (and expensive!)
Shocking sheisters! Scarey.
Life coaches shouldnt b passng judgements at all, just helping to empower to achieve best choices and direction for self, and give the tools to do this, but then ‘coaches’ are also a very mixed bag.
Women and children should have protections around being exposed to inexperienced and poorly qualified therapists in abuse/trauma.
I have known counsellors acieve their accreditation despite severe misgivings by the other students, ad those being raised.
Its like noone fail at counselling accreditation, the bar is far too low and poor /harmful candidates are not robustly weeded out like they absolutely should be.
They pay for their courses and pass.
-
TS, you protect yourself by doing some homework and taking your time to find the right therapist. There are guidelines and questions to ask to help with this on the governing body websites. As with all the support we need for the abuse and for life in general sometimes it takes a while to find the right person x
-
-
This sickens me, taking advantage of vulnerable people. It’s ceratinly not ethical and sounds like a scam.
I (detail removed by moderator) until I left a few years ago due to poor health, and I have also seen several therapists myself privately, in the NHS and at a charity during this time. This is a scam. I would like to ask you to consider reporting this friend of the friend to the Police and or the BACP (British, Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy). This is not a ‘counsellor’.
Sadly, until there is legislation ‘anyone’ can call themselves a counsellor. Ethical counsellors and psychotherpsits join a governing body BACP or UKCP, which means they abide by a set of professional standards and work within an ethical framework – despite this not being a legal requirement, they do this because they want to be accountable and work with the best practices. They also have to provide case studies and show professional development every year. By being a member it also gives clients/patients somewhere to take a complaint if needed.
Who is this person’s governing body? Please obtain this information if you can.
Ethichal counsellors and psychotherpists do not work in this way at all asking for such an extortionate fee. They understand how difficult it is to access experienced, professesional help in the current climate. The ethical therapists do not want money to impact negatively on the relationship and are very mindful of this, if you can afford the ‘weekly’ fee then great, and if not, this is discussed and an arrangement is made; most ethical therapist’s offer a sliding scale and see a number of people at a reduced cost from around £25 to £70 per hour, some of the best, such as those who have produced research and papers, acaedmic books, may charge up to £150 an hour.
This is a good way of weeding out those who see it as a vocation and those who are in it for the money, if the therapist is on the money then walk away – every time. The good therapist’s are full so do not mind when you can not make an appointment and do not charge for missed apps, providing you are courteous, because they get it, sometimes something happens and you cant attend. They look at their earnings as a monthly wage rather than trying to squeeze each person for everything they’ve got – chances are if you feel she/he is more interested in the money than you it’s because she/he hasn’t got enough work so you have to ask why that it. Good therapists simply don’t practice this way at all.
Please report this.
If you are looking for help then you need to find a therapist using either the BACP or UKCP website. You also need to find someone who is experienced in why you are seeking the help, so in this case, as it is for many on this forum, it would be someone one with experience in domestic abuse or trauma. It really doesnt matter which approach the therpaits offers, as long as they have experience in the relevant issues.
-
-
I had a dreadful experience of a therapist who is a member of UKCP. She knew that I was in contact with WA and with the police and she insisted that her contract was with me and my ex and insisted on seeing us together. I really don’t think she should say that she deals with trauma and domestic abuse when she caused so much harm.
-
It is criminal! Well, nothing iñ law against it, and also many registered claim to understand and treat, but dont.
The course i talked of is one such, and everyone, regrdless of startling opinions and behaviours that should be kept well away from vulnerable anyone.
They dont seem to be psychologically assessed which to my mind should be minimum requirement!
Its a dangerous lottery.
-
It’s only a lottery if you don’t do your homework, its so important to spend time finding the right person for you, cant stress that enough. Research shows that it is the ‘therapeutic match’, the relationship that heals. Which means that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another – only you can decide what is right for you. Which is hard I know when you are seeking help and in desperate need. Sadly, this is the way it is.
I agree there are a number of poor helpers out there; but there are also many brilliant ones – just got to find the right one for you x
-
-
Yes, being a member of a governing body does not necessarily mean you have found a good therapist, but it is the best place to start. It gives you certain protections as you have somewhere to complain if needed. You need to feel satisfied enough that this person is credible, has heard you, is responding to you, has a good understanding of the issues, and you feel she/he may be able to help before you agree to proceed; most good therapists make sure of this.
-
-
Hey at those prices it wouldn’t surprise me. Trouble is vulnerable means not thinking straight and open to further abuse and manipulation. I had to borrow money for therapy at £120/hr because the NHS wouldn’t treat my trauma because I was going through a court case. My GP recommend this clinical psychologist who was good but gave me no discount knowing I was borrowing money for something the NHS should be providing. I really don’t think I could have made it through that stage without her. But it angers me I had to pay for the lack of care in the NHS. My doc referred me in a state of crisis to the NHS. If I had been knocked down or had a heart attack, they would have found treatment.
-
Of all the therapy I’ve had, and I’ve had years of it when I add it up, the best care has always come from those in private practice, and I have seen experienced pschotherapsits for 25 an hour. There are some great therapists in the NHS, but they have their arms tied behind their backs with regard to who they can take on and what they can offer and it is a lottery in this case regarding who you get – you can of course ask to see someone else if you’re not entirely happy – but not many people know this and obs they don’t broadcast it as it would prove a logistcal nightmare for them. ‘Most’ people just give up thinking this is not for me, not helpful, even leave feeling ill treated – really annoys me.
They need people who will score well and appear healed by the end of therapy, loads of therapists play by the rules of course, but others, the more experienced, figure out how they can see those in need regardless, but these therapists are getting less and less as they recruit new people ‘newley qualified’ from fast track courses, sadly, they dont value experience, why pay for this when they can get newly qualified people for much less cost.
NHS consider domestic abuse victims of violence as too high risk and will only consider those who have completely left and who do not feel suicidal, mad isn’t it, especially as this is often a very natural way to feel when going through it; can see why you were turned down, they dont get paid for going to court if needed and this would literally take up hours of the clinicians time if it came to this or writing a report – the money goes on vetrans first then everyone else after that, they’ve only been taking people for trauma over the last 2-3 years and you get CBT or EMDR and that is it, yet anyone who works with trauma knows it is the relationship that heals, the therpist’s approach and training is irrelevant, the how you both get there part, but they must have years of experience of working with trauma.
DA victims often need long term support. Road traffic victims and similar can often get what they need from CBT therapy in a iimited time – so this makes the figures appear that CBT and EMDR work when they get these people through. (detail removed by moderator).
Although your therapy cost KIP, you gave yourself the best care possible in the current climate – this is the best thing to do if you can, yes the psychologists are more likely to charge a flat rate for their time; other options are the charities that understand, DA, trauma, rape, but these therapists are mostly in training, not all, but most, means they are trying their best, it can be helpful, they can often also offer more sessions, as many is needed, but it’s always best if you work with those who have experience hey, as with anything really, you get what you pay for – often the same here.
(detail removed by moderator)
So you see, unless you’re a vetran or in a road traffic accident, chances are you won’t get what you really need, long term trauma therapy, and even if you do get through, you will only get 6 – 20 sessions max and it is pot luck who you get in terms of their level of experience – if you get through at all with DA in the NHS. We should always register our need with the GP though, as this helps with change and future development plans – even though it means this is likely no help to you though at present.
If I were going for NHS trauma therapy, I would be asking the therapist how many years experience does he/she have specialising in trauma. Needs to be a minimum of 2yrs really, the longer the better – any less and ask for someone more experienced.
Wherever you go for therapy, find out what it is you are looking for with the guidence provided on how to find a therapist on the BACP website. There are questions you need to ask x
-
Thanks fizzy this has really helped. The charity that treats me just now is for survivors of childhood sexual abuse but they agreed to help me with trauma therapy and have been wonderful. I’ve now helped secure funding and expand their base to include victims of domestic abuse and sexual violence. By raising awareness of the total lack of qualified help for me in my areas it’s opened up a whole new door for victims. New qualified experienced therapists. So light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully no one will have to go through what I went through at least in my area. I understand about the therapist not wanting to get involved with court cases because of the potential loss of earnings. They have their bills to pay too but I would have thought if you get into that kind of arena it’s to help people. It’s a shame finances have to become involved. I know you can claim costs for going to court and my GP attended court as a witness so it can be done. Maybe there is a place for survivors groups working side by with victims and therapists to keep everyone on track and pick up the slack.
-
You’ve done some great work there KIP; often it’s the charities that pave the way, they get it, they’re more lead by the people they serve and identify the needs, where as NHS is this is what we’ve got, you either fit the criteria or not. This is so wonderful to read – love!
It’s not that therapists don’t want to get ivolved in helping people this way in the NHS, its that the procedures say not to, the NHS in genral is terrified of any legal law suits, quite often the therapist is not covered by ins. for this nor trained – and the nhs doesnt get paid for this type of work in talking therapies, unless you see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.
In the NHS it’s the people at the top, those commissioning the services that need to be informed or rather ‘listen’.
Sadly, its always a fight hey, and some folk just dont have it in them, despite their need for help x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
