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My husband recently got arrested and charged with domestic abuse and now his family are contacting me saying they have “evidence” against me.
My husband would bombard me with hundreds of messages every day, telling me how awful I am and how much I have ruined his life and made him suicidal, as well as calling me names and making sure I feel guilty for everything. He would scream at me until he was purple in the face, and spit on me both at home and when we were out, once this was even witnessed by his family and no one batted an eye. I have multiple recordings and saved messages from over the last few months of his behaviour, but now his family are threatening me with “evidence” they have against me.
I told the officer in charge of the case when things first came to light that when the relationship started to turn sour, he and I had a lot of drunken arguments, and I probably said some stupid things that I didn’t mean, and now I’m worried that I’m going to be seen as a perpetrator.
The evidence they have is nothing compared to the thousands of messages I’ve got saved from him, but is it enough for me to get in trouble too, even if it only happened once or twice?
Please help!
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I really feel for you, this is horrible.
My initial strong reaction would be that they are saying this to scare you off from bringing charges against your husband.attack is the best form of defense, is a motto I’ve heard an abusive person use frequently.
He has also made up all sorts of lies to keep his family on his side, and they may believe him. Even if they don’t completely believe him they will probably give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s a close family member.
My guess is that this is just being used to intimidate you. I would suggest that you also keep this and document it as evidence.
This is also abuse.There are a couple of threads on this forum about when your perpetrator acts like they’re the victim and you could read them, it may help a bit to know that you’re not alone. Not by any means! Almost all of them play this card.
If you can, only talk to them through a solicitor.
I have been told by people in the know that courts and judges do not take kindly to these kinds of spurious claims.
Have faith that justice will prevail. I know it dosent always, but probably does more often than not.
They use fear to manipulate and hurt us.
I really feel for you. This is horrible. A lot of ladies here will have been through it too. Keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel! -
Ps… no, getting to the end of your tether or reacting to continual abuse by losing your rag a couple of times when you’ve had too much to drink IS NOT the same and is probably not illegal in any way. Depending on what you said obvs . (Maybe death threats etc may not be looked on very kindly!)
There is something called reactive abuse. Which is exactly that. You can probably look it up.
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