Crying all the time today.

[Eve1]

I’m so sorry to be on here crying again, but I am.
I’m on my own, daughter is at ex’s and I’m trying to get some big things done. I started this week trying to taper off antidepressants but today I’m just crying every time I do something, so it’s probably not the right time.

I literally have no money so I can’t take myself off anywhere for an hour, plus I feel pretty exhausted. We really need to move from this house. I’ve registered with the council and had a look at what I’m eligible for and the only one was in a set of retirement bungalows. I’m so desperate I’m tempted to put a bid in. I set myself the task of ringing shelter today but I just can’t do it. I can’t stop crying. I don’t even know why. Probably because I feel completely on my own with it all. A group of friends I’m really not part of anymore are getting in touch about a yearly get together and that’s getting me down too. They are all looking forward to retirement, they have property, their children are mostly grown up and some of than have extremely well paid jobs and I just can’t cope with them. I’ve made my excuses and said I may see them for the day, just to seem polite.
I can’t even afford the membership for the gym the gp referred me to.
We actually live in the same house my ex and I owned. We sold it when we divorced, the buyer rented it back to me but the rent is very high now. I’m so fed up. I need to sort this out.

Thanks for reading. Just so horrible today.

x

[iwillbeok]

Hi hon x

Sending healing, comforting hugs to you 🙂

Im sorry you are going through this rotten time. Can you go for a walk or sit outside for a bit. I find just a bit of fresh air helps me a bit.

The other thing is to allow yourself to cry – I had a good long cry the other evening. While I was hurting with heartbreak at the time – I felt somewhat better afterwards, releasing some of the pressure, and toxins. Tears can be healing.

I hope you can get your living situation sorted. I have a bit of an unknown situation with my housing at the moment. Agent wants him to relinquish any claim to the deposit (which he siad he would in an email to me – along with a bunch of other demands, none of which I have complied with so the idea of asking him to do tjis (via 3rd party) is keeping me awake at night. I’m loathe to tell the agent it was dv in case the landlord doesnt then want to renew as sees me as high risk?

Apparently, if he doesn’t it will mean a whole bew lease and sounded like the agent sees this as a big disaster! Id rather pay the fees to do this than approach him cap in hand. I refuse to be at his mercy again!

According to Shelter help line they wont discuss tenancy deposit issues so I have no idea who to get advice from. Why cant I just pay extra in and they refund his portion to him? Why is everything setup so in their favour?

Sorry, Ive waffled on on your thread…

Hugs to you and a tissue for your tears, stay strong lovely! 🌻🍀🌻🍀🌻

[Serenity]

Hi Eve,

Big hugs.

Setting yourself up after abuse can seem mountainous.

I have messaged you x

[Eve1]

Thank you both.

Serenity, I can’t see your message. It doesn’t seem to have come through, which is a shame.

xx

[Tiffany]

Hi Eve,

I can’t help you with advise about any of the big stuff, but even if you have no money there is almost definitely somewhere you can go. It might be worth making a list of options that you can refer to when you are feeling down. I used to often feel terribly trapped and find lists really helpful for days when I felt so down I couldn’t think straight. I’m going to give you extracts from my lists, but obviously you will need to modify them for your preferences and location.

Places that I use which are completely include local parks, the library, museums with free entry, the beach. Sometimes I even just wander around in the local shops so I am around people even if I have no money to spend.

I also have a list of things I can do which cost a couple of quid. Taking the bus somewhere (anywhere) which in my town costs around £3 for a return, going to the swimming pool for a bath (our pools have actual baths which you can use for less than £2), going out for a coffee, again around £2, or chips, ditto.

And then I have a list of hobbies that I can do at home or outside if I am feeling down. Inside mine includes knitting, baking and reading. But it could be singing or doing crosswords or drawing or yoga or anything. Outside I have gardening, walking and cycling. But you could equally fly kites or birdwatch or skateboard or people watch or spot trains or go wild swimming or trampolining. Obviously some of these options will have start up costs, so something you already do and have the materials for should probably top your list, but it is amazing how many hobby accoutrements end up on freecycle/freegle/gumtree free ads. So if you want to take up trampolining or furniture restoration then you probably can, with minimal costs. I got a sewing machine for the cost of a bus ticket to the previous owners house and back.

I hope maybe this is helpful. Good luck with the big tasks list. That’s what is on my agenda for the day too. I’m breaking it up over a couple of days though and interspersing it with nice things, so it should be ok.

[Author]

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