Cyberstalking or not?

[Ariadne]

Hello everyone,

I had a question maybe you can help me with. Is someone checking your online status on social media constantly considered cyberstalking?
After the breakup, my ex used to do this with my social media, and also those of people he suspected I might be involved with. So he’d check if we were on/offline at the same time and accuse/hypothesise as to the meaning of this. Also would come up with theories regarding posts I interacted with. This has led me to get most of my socials to a private setting.

I started thinking if this is actually included in any cyberstalking definition or if it’s just a “thing”? Google makes it seem like people do this all the time, even in relationships.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Ariadne

My first question is what evidence you have of his ‘constantly checking my status’, and ‘comparing it with others’?

Facebook, or meta or whatever it calls itself now, is continually offering this type of activity, and this is often how people do find each other by searching for them on facebook, personally I wouldn’t think this to be considered cyberstalking.

My definition of it would be to be following you around the internet, like linking one account to another, and building up a picture of all your online activity, or to that end. Like making false accounts so they can continue to be in contact to slip under any security settings of yours, like if you specifically blocked his account and then discover he’s made another so he can see you again.

Watching your status, is I think, also stalkey behaviour, I’m just not sure it would qualify as stalking?

I think there’s information on here somewhere about cyberstalking isn’t there? Like if he came here to try to read what you’d written, to search for you, that would definitely be stalking. I’m sure some must do that.

I would lock all your social media from any but invited friends/family, to make sure he couldn’t get access to any of it. Not to leave any accounts open to him.

You could always offer what evidence you do have to police to see what they say, interesting thought though whether they have a separate resource for cyberstalking activity or whether it would be part of the job of the domestic abuse units I don’t know, would be worth finding out though if anyone reading this knows and could share that?

Change all your passwords, and set up new email addresses so he can’t guess and try to access them and can’t email you either.

warmest wishes

ts

[Ariadne]

Hello TwistedSister,

I am thinking back to when we broke up and what he would tell me. So that’s the only evidence I have. Not like I plan on doing anything with it, but I wondered if that was considered abuse or not.

It is funny that when I google this, most people say that those that put their online status as “private” on social media have something to hide. Very few people consider that it’s just because you actually want more privacy from those that might constantly be checking on you!

Thank you for your tips as well! I will look up more information on that 🙂

[Twisted Sister]

Hi yeah, I think FB has made many feel that they, and others, shouldpost their entire lives and ‘privacy’ on FB for the world to see. Others keep their privacy to themselves. Yes, something to hide! their privacy! 🙂 Thats just a way of intruders trying to guilt others into revealing everything about themselves, and not necessarily a healthy thing, and risky too, as we all know.

[Author]

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