DA agency, support worker?

[Hazydayz]

Please can someone explain how I go about getting a support worker? I’ve read so much here about people getting that help, I would welcome some help with this.💞

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Hazydayz

Various agencies will be aware of DA organisations in your area, and you can do a search online to see what comes up for your county/town.

You can also use this forum’s local support search facility to enter your area and it brings up a list of recognised DA agencies in your area.

Your GP can also refer you, and local police should be aware also.

They are not all the same, so ask what is on offer in terms of support, advice and advocacy and any time limits or other restrictions on the service offered so you know what you are entering into and that its going to actually be a good support for you and a good fit for what you are needing. They can often refer on to other agencies also, and will have links with support services around other areas of DA, like legal advice, housing, debt management, courses, help for children, benefits, etc.

Good luck with your search and I hope you find the help you are looking for.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hazydayz]

Hi Twisted sister, thankyou so much for your help💐 I’m not sure if I can successfully negotiate my way around, what looks like for me, a complicated information highway that requires a capability to focus attention on where to start and what direction to take or if need be? turn next, to find my way to the help I need to cover so many ssues affecting me now. I have been surprised to read that a GP can refer but knocked down by the fact that my GP hasn’t talked to me about any of this? I have made her aware of my husband’s abuse and she knows about how stress affects my condition but she hasn’t suggested anything to me about DV advice. In fact last year, a year ago now , I approached her about supplying the information required to a solicitor to enable me to obtain free legal aid for a divorce. She would need to arrange an appointment for me to complete the necessary to move forward with the proceedings, but she said she was too busy for the next couple of weeks and she would get back to me. She didn’t! That threw me and my confidence in her support. It’s almost impossible to get an appointment to speak to the doctor’s without being grilled by the receptionists first to establish if it Merritt’s an appointment? Their only offering emergency triaged telephone appointments after asking furst…what’s it about? You have to have something seriously medically concerning to be deemed important enough that
it requires a telephone or face to face appointment with the doctor. I was actually pushed onto a social prescriber at the practice after I tried again last year, to talk to the doctor and the social prescriber, she was so brute force about what exactly did I need help with? Practical matters she seemed to offer?around getting me out and involved in community events was what the doctor had told her? It appeared. The social prescriber actually sat opposite me and declared she thought I seemed very able to think for myself. ???? A close family member suicide brought all that to an end, it was painfully obvious to me she had no ability to support emotionally. Looking back before that happened it was obvious from the first appointment with her that, The brief she had been given by the doctor it seemed to me, suggested my doctor wasn’t giving me the help I needed. To simply understand what I was actually experiencing and needing help to extract myself from. Disturbingly, looking back now at the first time I told my doctor about my situation and feeling stuck in it, she actually scoffed at what I said whilst pulling a disaproving face at me that smacked of, oh come on! Your a big girl now, you can just walk away from this. She had no idea! So, you see, it would be so much easier if I could have confidence in my GP and get her help, A referral to some real support! but I know that’s not an option for me. I’ve actually been thinking these last few days, I need to see a doctor. I’m worried that I should consult my doctor about what’s suddenly happening with my health? I have for the last few days had a worrying tremour like sensation going on within me? I’m diabetic and this could be something that needs attention? It’s not helped by the fact that within the last week I suffered a particularly nasty abusive from my husband and I’m thinking maybe? my nerves are now shot? I think all this is overwhelming me and I’m afraid of being dismissed again by my GP practice. So, I’ll do my best to sort myself if I can? Thanks again for your help TS, I really do appreciate it. X

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Hazydayz

I am sorry to hear this. I would say that as your gp is not understanding your situation, it is best to seek another for an appointment. Is that something that you could do within the same practice, or would you have to go to another practice to do that? You can easily go to any practice you wish and complete their short medical history form to get a different medic to support you.

Its completely understandable that you feel your confidence knocked by that response from your doctor. Its not acceptable to not be listened to and be supported to get the help you need.

It does sound like you need to see a medic urgently anyway, you mentioned tremors. I get those, and they are a common side effect of extreme anxiety also, so it may be that this is another symptom of your abuse and not necessarily related to your diabetes.

You do deserve to be put in touch with the help that is out there, and you certainly do not have to tell non-medical staff anything about you, but unfortunately I think there is a lot more gatekeeping of GP’s than ever there was before the pandemic and even then it was a recognised issue for many. Not everyone is able to talk to complete and utter strangers about deeply personal and complex things, this isn’t something you can put into a short sentence, I know I couldn’t.

It also takes time to learn what helps, and often when you are in the thick of it that can be extremely difficult to do, which would be the point of getting DA support as they could discuss with you what they can offer, and give you time to consider what may help you best.

I would say counselling at this point could help, but only to have somewhere to offload to about your current situation, as you would need to be somewhere safe to start the process of healing and recovery through therapy. Asking to be referred by your gp for counselling is also a route to take to access DA services, because a therapist hearing any incidence of DA would be duty bound I believe to offer this to you, and to disclose harms being done to you, to your GP, or even police, IDK you’d have to ask.

I am just going to go and check out the links here for you, so that you can just enter your town/area and see what comes up for you.

I understand exactly how difficult this can be on a mind that has been battered by abuse for years. Do it bit by bit, and yes, even hunting things down for yourself can be so exhausting, rest all you need. We’ll help get you there.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hazydayz]

Thankyou Twisted sister for all your support, help and advice. There’s a lot to cover, so I’ll get back to you, thankyou❤️ I’m so sorry to read you suffer tremors as a result or part of what you have or are going through, I had considered, indentified, this may be the case with me also. But being diabetic?
I’ll get onto it!
Thank you again💐

[Hazydayz]

Is seems for some it’s so much easier getting help and support,

[Hazydayz]

I am sat here exhausted with what I’ve tried to find out this morning. My brain goes blank and sends me to sleep because of the stress of it.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi again, I just clicked on the link here on the forum to find services for you and if you wanted to do that to find anything in your area you can click HERE

It will take you to select from three drop-down boxes, filters, to find your area, as follows:

Use the filters below to find a support service

Filter by Region:
Filter by Local Authority:
Filter by City/Town:

So, if you were in Bristol you could select ‘SouthWest’ from the first box, then go to the next and so on.

Let me know if you need further help with any of it, or have any other questions.

warmest wishes

ts

[Twisted Sister]

Also, I just remembered, WA would be able to direct you to your local services via the CHAT facility on here.

…but, I don’t know how you find that on here, I had a quick look and couldn’t see it anywhere, but someone else will know, or you could perhaps message Lisa for a link to it?

ts

[Lisa]

Hi Both,

Here’s a link to the Live Chat service – open 8am – 6pm weekdays and 10am – 6pm weekends/bank holidays. TS is correct that they would be able to give you details of your local domestic abuse service and possibly other support services you might find useful.

Best wishes,
Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

I’m also happy to have a look for you, if you wanted me to and felt ok to share your area/region privately by private messaging me, but I understand completely if you wouldn’t be comfortable with that (I wouldn’t be!), but it occurred to me that it could be helpful to you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Twisted Sister]

Just saw your update, and glad that you have someone now, they should be able to let you know of other types of support in your area too, and make referrals for you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hazydayz]

My Update? Twisted Sister I’m confused about what you messaged last. Your glad I have someone now? To let me know of other types of support in my area? And make referrels for me?

💞

[Twisted Sister]

Hi

I’m sorry for the confusion. I have just been back to reread the other thread you posted about an IDVA, and I had read it wrong. You were actually asking for advice around an idva you’d found because of what their responsibility and role is, and I read that as you having got an idva. Sorry!

Please ignore me!

warmest wishes though

ts

[Hazydayz]

Hello again Twisted Sister. No I hadn’t found an IDVA. I haven’t found anything since I was here last.
I’ve felt suspended in time.
In my total understanding of my total everything.

Anyway, Thanks for your message, your understanding.
I appreciate that and certainly wouldn’t just ignore you.

I remain grateful, for your time given to me.

Your advice and your offering of supportful help was truelly, much appreciated.

Warmest wishes to you

[Twisted Sister]

I am very sorry to hear that you have been unable to find any support for you. Sometimes it can be offered to women, other times they have to find it themselves, and sometimes the search is too hard and sometimes it turns up nothing for women. I think its very area dependent too.

Did you click the chat box link that Lisa posted, as they will have the list of everything that WA is aware of in your area, and you can access that list through the menu option on here for ‘support & signposting’ links?

Is there anything else I can help you with?

warmest wishes

ts

[Hazydayz]

Hello again, I just haven’t been able to move forward.
I have used Chat in the past.
I have so much stuff specific to my life outside of this area that it’s going to take an enormous amount of sorting, if it can be? So thats where I’m at.
I don’t think there’s anything else you can do but thank you for the help you have offered me.
Warmest wishes

[Twisted Sister]

I’m sorry to hear that Hazydayz, its no good when you are struggling already to then not be able to find help to support you. Did you already approach your GP for referrals to local services, as they should be a hub for this also. Do you think it may be very poor coverage in your area?

We’re here to help where we can, but its not the same as having a person turn up for you irl.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hazydayz]

💞 Thankyou

[Camel]

Hi Hazydayz,

I’m sorry you’re feeling so beaten down. It sounds like you’re overwhelmed by everything so I’ve tried to break it down into little steps…

GP receptionists can’t refuse to make an appointment for you.
They can ask what you need to see the doctor about but you don’t have to tell them. You can say it’s personal.
It’s OK to request a different GP.
Tell them you need a double face-to-face appointment.
Make a list of your questions before your appointment. Make notes during the appointment. It’s hard to remember things when you’re in a fog.

But you don’t actually need a GP referral to access support:
Every Boots pharmacy has a safe space with staff trained in DA and support.
Local support agencies will have posters in public places such as libraries. You can contact them directly.

I hope this helps and isn’t just more noise. x

[Twisted Sister]

second all that Camel has said about navigating GPs surgeries, and about whats available direct to you.

Hope you find something soon.

[Hazydayz]

Thankyou💕

[Hazydayz]

Thankyou Camel 💞

[Author]

Posts