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I’m not sure as I’ve not gotten to that stage but maybe it’s the normal feelings of dating your feeling but because of what you’ve gone through with your ex that has muddled those normal feelings. Also it might just be too soon to get back into dating. WA Recommend about 2 years,, but we’re all different.
At the end of the day it’s only lunch, try and enjoy it, you know the signs to look out for, just be safe.
IWMB 💕💕 -
well done you for being brave enough to even agree.
a counsellor said to me at an early stage that recovery would be a bit like recovery after a stroke.
That is I would have to learn how to do things again.
At the time I stared at her in disbelief.
But years on, I know she was right.
Enjoy it. Stay safe.
As iwantmeback has said it is only lunch after all.
You are not getting married, not engaged, he/she is not moving in.
Just try things out for yourself, see how you feel.You are allowed to politely say you don’t want it to go further
see bill of rights etc.good luck
ftc
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Just got back. He was really lovely, I know I’m not ready for a relationship yet with anyone. It was just nice to get out and chat to someone normal. What I found hard was that I was reading through the lines of what he was saying, and seeing red flags that maybe weren’t there. It be fair, I know that will keep me safe this time.
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I was thinking about you earlier Popilol, good for you. I think the only way I could have lunch with a man in the future, would be only by being surrounded with other people, a one to one would be too much, so again well done on doing it. Did you enjoy it, the chat, getting to know another person. 🙂 its more them natural to see red flags reading between the lines, you’ve been so used to the outcome of not listening i think you’re still on hyperalert mode.
I think once we’ve been abused, we see red flags everywhere in the beginning of getting away, but hopefully if our intuition is listened to in the future we’ll do alright.
IWMB 💕💕 -
I’m always looking for red flags with new people too. I think it makes sense, after what we’ve been through, it’s healthy.
It’s good you went, enjoyed and have tuned into your current state of wanting to stay single. What helped me a lot with my ex was journaling after each date. I remember distinctly that I started trusting him over my own gut instinct when I stopped journaling, so I promised that in future I would always journal if I am dating so that I can tune into myself more easily. It’s a lot easier to see red flags when they are written down. It helps clarify things in your head, plus later on I was able to see red flags in the journal entries from our first few dates which helped me figure him out eventually and get away.
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