Dealing with nightmares, advice please

[teatime]

I am having a horrid life change, where I have to give up my job and home. I work for a charity and there has been a lot of bullying directed at me, probably because people do not want to deal with the redundancy process and hope that me and my dear person will just go. I often feel scared of the people involved. They seem to disapprove of me.
I am very scared because I will be very poor, from now on. My health, which has always been terrible has rather collapsed.
I am trying to be sensible and we are getting on with trying to find a new place to live. However, I am getting awful nightmares; they are about bulling, being beaten up and other stuff.
I was very badly abused and tricked within my very long marriage and also I have had another poor relationship where the man was violent and threatening and abusive… I don’t dream about that one. Just the marriage, and about being mocked and bullied.
Are there any herbs I can take, or any advice. I am sick of it, it takes me ages to shake off the bullied feeling. Do you think counselling would help? How do I find an appropriate counsellor. I have been terribly depressed lately off and on. I may feel better once I move.My partner is great, he is a wonderful listener, terrifically kind, very cheerful ( a bit of a sweety ), but all his family are bullies too!So we understand each other. His family ahve upset me lately. They promised us something which would have helped but then his sibling made such a fuss it was denied us. I have found out this sibling bullies him a lot and also is spiteful behind our backs. Sorry this is loooong x

[lover of no contact]

Hi teatime,

Being on the receiving end of bullying behaviour is so horrible. It takes away our self-confidence, and self-esteem. The disapproval and negative tones from others whether in the work-place or from the family is just soul-destroying. It triggers me so much and takes me a while to recover.

I’m glad your partner doesn’t carry out those behaviours. He really is a gem. I find posting on here really helps me and moves me from a weakened place to regaining my strength.

That is hard trying to find a place to live, having worries about future income, negative behaviours from co-workers and feeling fragile health-wise. No wonder you are having nightmares. You are taking action and that’s the main thing. You’re looking for a place and getting support from on here. Keep taking small steps everyday. And if you don’t achieve much else don’t worry once you get plenty of rest,early nights even if you don’t sleep great.

[teatime]

I I pushed my partner away for a while due to some difficulties we were having. In that time I went out with others, one of whom was just as abusive as my husband. I am so glad he has always loved me enough. I realise now, how much I love him. But maybe we have both become a bit wiser.
I also realise now, that the problems we were having ( he was moaning an awful lot) were caused by his family who I now identify as very problematical indeed. He suffers from anxiety but it seems to have improved so he is more supportive.

[Author]

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