Delayed trauma response?

[SingleMomSurvivor]

I’m no longer with my abusive ex and haven’t been for sometime now. The kids and I are in a safe, stable home. I don’t have any drama in my life. Things are really good. I’ve noticed however that recently I will find myself feeling sad out of nowhere. I could just be going about my normal daily activities and suddenly I will feel sad. And when I feel sad, I’m not able to connect it to anything/not able to identify why I feel sad. Sometimes I will even cry a little. The sadness doesn’t last long.

I’m wondering if this could be a delayed reaction to the trauma I experienced when I was with my ex and when I was leaving him. During that time when I was leaving my ex, my sole focus was on holding it together mentally so that I could be there for my kids. I didn’t feel I had time to be sad, or to grieve because all I cared about was being a stable, loving mother for my children. I’m wondering if now that I’m safe my mind is finally starting to feel the emotions connected to everything that happened to me. Has this happened to anyone else?

[Strongenough]

Hi Singlemomsurvivor,

Yes I can relate. I have been out for years and months but still have times where I really struggle. Do you have the option of womens aid counselling? I had some sessions half way through leaving and now and that was the first I’d really spoke openly about abuse and the affect its had on me, it was really helpful to offload to someone who truly understands.

Someone on this forum once told me that recovery is like the sea. Sometimes it’s calm and sometimes its stormy, you will have waves to overcome but just believe that the calmness will come back once the wave is over. I’ve held on that as it’s made sense to me. My brain went double time for years either with trying to survive in the relationship to trying to escape and start again. Once the calm comes I do believe your mind starts to process what you’ve been through as you have no room to do so when your in freeze fight and flight mode. X

[Eggshells]

Hi SingleMomSurvivor

It could be all sorts of things but if you feel it’s related to past trauma then you may well be right.

Please do chat with your GP to discount any physical causes.

If you are not accessing any therapy, please do look into IAPT which you can access free and through self referral.

[StrongLife]

I’ve been out for yrs and still getting responses. I got one yesterday in response to trigger. I am wondering if you have had domestic violence counselling. Could this be a solution to sadness.

[Author]

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