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Thanks for your reply. I’m challenging this behaviour with the NHS and also regulatory bodies for therapists. No one should put a criminal case before my mental health. As soon as I gave my statement to the police, any mental health care I need should never be influenced by the criminal justice system. Sadly it seems I’m not the only one x
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I understand not telling all and sundry(in case they may be called as a future witness) but surely in the confines of a councillors or therapists office that should be acceptable. As you say @Ayanna you were close to suicide as many of us have been. Not getting the chance to talk to someone authorised to listen is against our Human rights surely. These are the areas that the authorities have to listen to us, the survivors in order to help future ones. I put soneyhing to my local wa recently after i experienced having to talk to a police officer in the foyer. I feel once the subject is known we should be offered a private room as soon as they can. Take care all.
We are the new #SuffragettesIWMB 💕💕
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Yes. I know we are not allowed to post links on here, but I have just discovered an organisation called Support, Empower, Advocate sepa which may be of help in situations where it is just too overwhelming to complain/manage such situations all by yourself.
Will let you know how things progress with them – but so far they seem very efficicent and helpful.
Feels really good to know that I have a national organisation to advocate on my behalf with regard to a health issue.
all best
ftc
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sorry that should have read seap
here is some blurb from their website:
seAp is an independent charity that provides free independent and confidential advocacy services
We provide independent advocacy services to help resolve issues or concerns you may have about your health and wellbeing or your health and social care services. Our aim is to ensure that:
You are in control of decisions which are made about you
Your experiences, views, wishes and feelings are heard
You can contribute to improving the health and care services you use -
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I’ve had the same experience. I was told I couldn’t get counciling until the legal process was over.
(Detail removed by Moderator) That’s (Detail removed by Moderator) years of my life just living in limbo and not knowing where to turn. I’ve not even started to deal with what’s happened and now I’ve buried it so deep I’m scared of dealing with it. -
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Would the MP be able to raise this. It’s clear that we need support going through all of this. So where is it? Absolutely shocking xx 💕 DIY
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Yeh but they do treat PTSD in soldiers especially from the Iraq war.I see it they get good comprehensive treatment until some are ready yo go back in to the army. So the service is there on the NHS have you mentioned that you’ll write to the GMC I’m not sure who the counselling therapy people are under xx
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Yes, she’s writing to the various bodies including NICE
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy etc.
I think proper therapy for soldiers is still a lottery too. I can imagine like me they will be referred by their GP to psychological service (24 week wait with my local service). I think perhaps soldiers charities might be on the ball woth PTSD. I’ve read a lot about that and their symptoms are almost identical to victims of domestic violence/abuse yet we don’t get the same attention. -
The waiting lists are massive at the moment even for cancers terrible. Yeh I agree we seem to be forgotten entity that’s how I’ve felt all the way through this whole experience. It is the way they’re referred, Im sure they’re pushed through quicker through the private sector though in order to get them back to work. You know the thread earlier where it was said that people were angry for destroying a man’s career etc. My career was ruined by DV I became ill, I’m sure I may have PTSD I’ve never been to see about it or address it. In my job I was cast to the side and I trained for many years. These men are the cause of all off this I’ll health by god I hope this changes soon and they’re held accountable xx 💕
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Hi Kip, it was my GP and IDAS who said that you couldn’t have therapy until the all of the legal process was over. When I asked why, I was told that it could affect my giving of evidence. I was also told that you couldn’t start to move on and recover until the the legagaities were over and it would be pointless until then.
I’ve since had a few counselling sessions and have been diagnosed with PTSD and severe anxiety but if I’d had some help back then, maybe I’d not in this rut.
My son was lucky with his new school though. He was assaulted too and was also a witness but he was offered weekly counselling sessions from the start and still has them. It’s been brilliant for him and I dread to think what would have happened to him without it. -
Of further interest possibly, I went through this years ago trying to access specialist trauma therapy, and I accessed PTSD therapy for military personnel, I was told by them to approach gp for funding to pay for it, as this is how they are funded though gp payments, what they didnt realise is that gp will not fund for dv, only vets!!
That was some years ago. Probably not changed though.
I wholly disagree that with-holding support through such traumatic circumstances is appropriate.
I nearly lost my life through the court process and my trauma escalated massively. Its cruel, highly traumatising and I cannot conceive of how it can be legitimately enforced.
They are playing with lives!
Keep fighting ladies!!
Warmest wishes ts
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One thing I would caveat to that ^ is that, as I’ve experienced, you have to feel safe to be able to go through trauma therapy/counselling, and I was refused it on those grounds.
However, that does not mean that you shouldn’t have victim support, or some form of counselling support to get you through the court trauma
I so hope something will get sorted for you soon KIP!
Warmest wishes ts
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I can understand the feeling safe thing. I’ve spoken with my counsellor and I have to be able to imagine a ‘safe place’. My case took (detail removed by moderator) months and with the backlog it’s taking longer and longer for cases to get to court, it’s unacceptable to have to wait all that time for trauma counselling. The way my therapist explained was basically the solicitor wants the court to see you on your knees when giving evidence which is exactly what happened in my case. The whole experience retraumatised me and set me back years. Why can’t my solicitor say the only reason I’m able to give good evidence without breaking down is because I’ve had trauma therapy. It doesn’t mean what happened to me wasn’t horrific, it’s just that I’ve had good therapy. There was a lady on here who lost sole custody in family court. The Judge said she didn’t come across as a domestic abuse victim. So I can see where this thinking process started but it’s the 21st century. There must be a better understanding in the court process. Also, I can manage to get through harrowing meetings with solicitors but there’s always this terrible aftershock that they don’t see. It took me six days to leave the house after giving evidence. I don’t remember anything apart from day six when I was eating peas from a can and I thought I need to pull myself together. So there’s a much bigger picture too x onwards and upwards…….
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The solicitors have so little understanding to this day of DV. Goodness you’ve been through so much it’s fact it’s down In evidence but they have to see it on your face! (Court detail removed by moderator). Things desperately need to change I’ve just sent a letter of to my MP this morning before the 16th when womensaid submit their bill. I’m so frustrated xx I think trauma is very misunderstood perhaps it’s easier to cast it aside and not address it. Ignorance once again xx
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Blunt warning: what point conviction if it kills or destroys you beyond reach?!?!
How you describe the ‘getting through, to suffer the fallout after, spot on. Exactly how it is. Spend days and weeks hiding away, eating s**t, not sleeping, not going out,bathing, nothing.
They have no idea the cost of retraumatising – essentially just to put on a ‘good show’
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It’s interesting to me, the talk of safe places. We discussed it in my first counselling session since my ex left. When I got home and for the first time did one of the exercises the counsellor suggested, I fell apart. I really don’t know what happened but it was terrifying. Luckily I was able to speak to a friend, probably gibberish, and to the samaritans about the same.
Had I not felt at some time at least a tiny bit safe I don’t know what would have happened.
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