Viewing 5 reply threads
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    • #131536
      Munchkin04
      Participant

      Please is anyone there. My oartner and I have argued yet again because he blew up at me as he didn’t understand me. Now (detail removed by Moderator) this week he hasn’t come home from work. He’s not come home again tonight and won’t reply to my messages. I’m feeling sick wondering where he is. He’s playing with my emotions and I don’t know what to do or how to react. Please help me x

    • #131537
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Hello I couldn’t read and run. I’ve experienced this many times so I can sympathise with the total mess your mind is currently in, but look you can’t control what he’s doing right now and calling/texting won’t help. Stop, take a breath. What do YOU want to do tonight, you have the house to yourself, have a bath, watch tv. Watch some YouTube clips about this type of behaviour. The worry and pain won’t disappear but that doesn’t mean you have to sit alone in tears waiting for someone who clearly isn’t interested in stopping your pain right now. Look after yourself.

    • #131538
      Munchkin04
      Participant

      Thank you. I just get so insecure and he knows I am. No respect for me at all. I actually hate him tonight and want it to end. I’m so messed up with the games and him never being wrong

    • #131539
      KIP.
      Participant

      He’s treating you appallingly. He’s testing you to see just how badly he can treat you and how much you will take from him. He’s enjoying this. It could also be a punishment for something he thinks you have done wrong. Punishment to get you under control again. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t care. Someone who loves and cares doesn’t hurt you this way. He chooses this behaviour. Please ignore him. Take a huge step back and let him do what he wants, ignore him and he will soon get in touch. Although he will twist that too. You will never win with an abuser, his goal is to hurt you and watch it happening.

    • #131568
      SingleMomSurvivor
      Participant

      He’s giving you the silent treatment on purpose which is another form of abuse and manipulation. He gets pleasure out of the control he’s able to exert over you by not communicating & he enjoys how his silence & absence upsets you. It’s so sick & twisted on his part. My husband did this to me & it just kept getting worse & worse. He even gave me the silent treatment while I was severely sick in the hospital! Yup! He sat in the hospital room & refused to talk to me for days. I’m so sorry you are going through this! I know how awful, confusing & disorienting it all is. It is not your fault 💜

    • #131569
      SingleMomSurvivor
      Participant

      I forgot to add that adding some structure to your day can help you pass the time. I found that making sure I stayed active helped me to not focus on the silent treatment abuse as much. A daily schedule could involve things as simple as waking up in the morning, making sure you make yourself some breakfast, then listen to music/shower, go for a walk if it’s safe to do so, call a friend, listen to a podcast, make yourself some lunch, paint your nails, try out a new craft or hobby, read a book etc. I found that keeping myself active helped me to refocus my energy on myself & not feel the sting of the silent treatment as much. Eventually it got to the point where I genuinely enjoyed his absence

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