Desperately Unhappy – Please Help..

[lilbird]

Hi there.
I don’t really know where to start, but I am very unhappy at the moment..
I seem to be angry with those around me and grumpy all the time.
Am still living at my mums with my (detail removed by moderator) son and my partner lives (detail removed by moderator) away and I feel I have no ‘belonging’. Living with her I should be able to save money but for some reason I’m not able to.
Am fat, flabby and overweight and don’t know which way to turn with that either.

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi lilbird,

Sorry you’re low today, I actually feel very similar to this today if it makes you feel better – I’m also living with parents and am desperate to move out, and feel like I’d like to lose some weight! I was skinny when I was with my ex as I was so anxious I lost my appetite but I’ve put some weight back on and feel it’s too much now. Do you exercise? I find walking and yoga helpful for mind, body and soul. Also dancing is great, and swimming is like meditation.

I guess some days we just feel low after what we’ve been through and that’s ok. Part of my problem is going to bed too late. Maybe have a think about some changes you’d like to make a steps to get there so that you start to feel better. And just allow yourself to feel low at times and increase your self care. xx

[Nova]

Morning ladies, sounds like those days when it all feels just rubbish…and there are ways to sort out life and health changes. Its not a one size fits all approach, you have to find things your interested in, we can only share what we do, not what you should!…more about doing what fits with you, the emphasis is on doing! I too put on weight when I was with him…
I’m convinced now he liked me to feel rubbish! part of the control and made me cling to him even more through my insecurities.

So…that identified, getting motivated- with purpose may help…making sure your up and dressed and out the door, getting involved and meeting others I find helps, its not healthy mentally or physically to stay indoors with the same group of people day in day out, everyone feels it…its pointless & can lead to depression and feelings of worthlessness, some distance is normal.

Our confidence returns more easily when we are empowered.. we are in control and we can and do make improvements in our life, not every day is a success or amazing & that’s life..we can only do our best with what we have. Don’t compare yourself to others, focus on you and your life goals.

Thinking and take notes of what you want to aim for…finding one thing every day (if your not working) realistic…such as childcare group, a swim a meet up, even a bus ride some where different, library research into moving on etc..there is also national UK volunteers website called DO-IT

If you can access child care? that opens up your options to plan…job wise/a course/retrain?
BTW no quick fix.. it has taken me approx two thirds of a year to just get my head round this and clear my head space, go easy on yourself…small steps!!

Cx

[Bubblegum]

Thank you Cuppa for your post this morning .I needed to read your post this morning for a pick me up x*x

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

Moving back in with the family is hard when you used to living on your own, i did it too for a year , use this time to focus on healing, get the counselling you need , join a gym or just take up local walking , i know u will have days where u dont feel like it but u have to keep the mind active, i did it myself lost the weight then moving in with family after few months just dont know where weight game came from, prob stress but it just seemed easier to eat junk food, unhealthy food . I am now working on rebuilding myself and try not use stress as an excuse to eat. It is hard to rebuild and live around their lifestyle and rules but as you get stronger u willknow what to do. I couldnt beleive even after relocated , it took me another year to make myself emotional strong. Reach out to support agencgies to get help for , even with healing and recovery we need support

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