Destroyed

[Put the kettle on]

I don’t know what to be strong anymore, he’s manipulated our child, professionals and anyone who will listen. I am blamed by professionals and flying monkeys for his abuse. They tell me he isn’t and wasn’t abusive. The police records seem to mean nothing.
He keeps on being subtly abusive via child access, he wants my phone number and friends phone numbers. I get told I’m unreasonable for not giving out phone number.
Our child is at risk and I’m not believed. Our child doesn’t want to go to his but I’m blames for this.
I feel so hopeless, like nobody understands. I question if there’s something really wrong with me if so many others don’t see his behaviour.
Each day is so hard. Why won’t he leave us alone

[KIP.]

I was speaking to my WA advocacy worker and was explaining how when dealing with professionals I feel like I’m in a foreign country and we just don’t speak the same language. That my Advocacy worker is the only one who speaks the same language. So surround yourself with people who do understand. It validates your experience. The power and control wheel is a good asset so google that and print it out if you need to. You have every right to protect your mental health as well as physical and that means zero direct contact. Talk to your GP about support with this. Mental health is big in the public domain at the moment so make use of it. How dare these ‘professionals’ endanger you and your mental health by forcing contact or even suggesting it. Break things down to bite sizes. One little bite at a time. Keep a detailed journal of his behaviour and that of your child. Keep your boundaries in place. If you can manage with zero direct contact then he can. It’s not difficult but he’s losing control when you do this and that’s what he cannot stand.

[Put the kettle on]

Hi kip, I totally understand what you mean about it feeling like speaking a different language. Sometimes I feel like I’m screaming silently trying to get people to see the abuse and do many dismiss or minimise it.
I will speak to my GP.
I think 12j says I should be protected from further abuse yet this doesn’t seem to be happening, he’s approaching me during handovers which shouldn’t be happening but then I’m accused of not having childs best interest at heart because I can’t just suck it up.
I do keep records of behaviour and the so called professionals call me a liar.

[KIP.]

Secretly record the handover if you have to go in person. Or use a third party for all hand overs or a contact centre. Your child witnessing his intimidation is not good for your child. Get your GP to back you up with a letter explaining how detrimental it is to your health to have any direct contact with him. Don’t give up. Get support from WA. No doubt they will have access to upto date research that can back you up. These men always have to let you see them. To make their presence felt. It’s how they get their power trip. There’s absolutely no problem in him using a third party or contact centre but that means he can’t intimidate you x

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