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So this is the end of the relationship. I love him so much and I miss him. The pain is excruciating. The police are questioning him (detail removed by moderator). All done in private and no evidence surrounding it and I didn’t make a statement but I did go to the police so they have to investigate. I feel sick to my stomach. I still love him so much and this is the end now. Life for me is not going to be worth living unless I can get through this. He was my other half, my baby.
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Hi PTH
I’m sorry for the loss of what you hoped the relationship would be. I just wanted to try and send you some comfort. It sounds like you are coming to the acceptance that it’s over, I think that’s very admirable. I’ve recently had to admit to myself that I still have hope in spite of everything. The pain will come and go, like waves. Hang on and know that it will pass. One minute at a time. If something gives you relief or a break from the pain, such as doing a crossword or reading or writing, just do it. You are mourning but take the breaks for yourself and know that you will keep becoming stronger. Soon the time will pass quicker and less painfully than now. You’ve done nothing wrong. We can’t save them.
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Hi Peacethroughhealing
You are so brave to have gone to the police.
Take it one day at the time, even hours at the time, breathe in and out, and do little things to keep your mind busy, cross-words are actually great indeed, associate every feeling towards him with one good one towards you to counter balance the pain a little. Sending you strength and hugs -
Thank you. At the moment I am blindsided and I want him back in my life. I have been a mess all day, gut wrenching sadness in the pit of my stomach and in my heart. It feels broken. I am off work today and a mess. Can’t function, have been out all day to avoid going home really. We don’t live together. He will never want anything to do with me now and he will either never speak to me again or he will slander me to high heaven. I am concerned about my mental health and the way this has affected me. I don’t want to go to my doctor and be prescribed pills. I practice alternative therapies and I try to meditate and I can see what has gone on here but the pain is so deep. I just want his arms around me so badly. I just want his touch and his closeness. It’s breaking my heart.
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hi Peace, sorry you are going through this pain, i was like you a few weeks ago, i can definitely remember feeling like you do now, all i wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, i had kept getting this awful heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach, every time he popped into my head, which was often, i cried every time i saw something of his that he had forgotten to take with him or every time i went out, i would see his car everywhere, i’m still not there yet, but i can see a small light at the end of the tunnel, i wrote down all the good things and all the bad things about him and i realised the bad out weighted the good by a long chalk, i also done a lot of reading on the internet about abuse and why they do these awful things to us, like i said i’m not there completely yet but a few weeks on and that awful gut retching feeling of missing him has got less and less, it is very hard to come to terms with and these lovely ladies on this site has helped me no end x
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I am so sorry you are feeling like this. It’s not even a matter of a day at a time but rather a minute at a time. The sadness that you feel is completely understandable. I also understand your fears about your mental health and being prescribed pills. You must do what feels right for you. I haven’t had any luck with counselling and I also don’t want to take pills. I’m finding that it’s an up and down journey which may not be helpful, but you are certainly not alone in the way you feel. I’m glad that the police have taken it seriously and it was a brave move. I do hope you can do something nice for yourself this evening and know that you are not alone. This forum is a blessing for sure x
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It gets better, I promise you. Personally, I had to accept that I loved the man I thought my ex was, not the man he actually was. I got through it, even though I never thought I would. He is getting prosecuted ano my heart is mending. It’s tough when your hopes and dreams die. Keep posting x
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It’s such a conflicted feeling. I love him but I also really don’t like him for what he has done to me. I never made the statement so they have no evidence to go on. He does have a previous conviction though and it’s for what he did to me that I reported. I actually don’t want him to get into more trouble which is why I didn’t give the statement to try and protect him in some way but at least I reported it and they are questioning him. I haven’t heard anything all day so I am assuming they haven’t got hold of him yet as I can’t imagine it would take long to question him on the one thing. That’s if the police let me know straight away which they should be doing for my safety.
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My ex got arrested numerous times before I made a statement and assaulted me numerous times before I called the police. It didn’t get better. In fact, getting away with it just emboldened him. He thought he could do whatever he liked to me and I’d just take it. Buthe the worm turned. He’s now being charged. My only regret is that I didn’t make a statement sooner, but I wasn’t strong enough and kept on thinking I could fix him.
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