28th May 2023 at 6:48 pm #158784swanlakeParticipant
Again it’s ages since I last posted here but it’s about time that I prioritised my mental health again.
Something that I’m going through at the moment is secondary mental healthcare (lucky, I know, after a (detail removed by Moderator) years wait!). Part of proceedings is a developmental assessment. My mum is in denial of my issues so I have no help from them, which would be the ideal scenario, to tell the person doing the assessment about how I behaved in childhood.
That’s not going to happen, which is perhaps a good thing as it’s going to be hard enough to have this assessment anyway. I’m scared that as part of the assessment they might want to ask about abuse and neglect that I have experienced. It’s going to be a two hour phone call with a stranger and I fear that it could get quite upsetting. There’s some abuse that I’ve never told anybody. I know that I don’t have to reveal anything that I would rather not but it would still bubble up in my head. I’ve tried to research in the internet what “child development” includes and it seems to be things that very few people can remember, like the first smile etc, and I never know what I’m going to get when I talk to my mum, my head bitten off or a civil conversation, so I’m reluctant to ask my mum beforehand.
I’m not sure what further care I might expect after this assessment, most likely I’ll be discharged, so I’m looking into further counselling since it’s clear that I’m still being affected by childhood issues as I try to move forward with my life.
29th May 2023 at 9:18 pm #158821LisaMain Moderator
Well done for prioritising what you need and sticking with it through the wait to be assessed. Assessments of this kind can be upsetting and you might have to talk about some difficult things, but the professional carrying it out will be very used to the impact it can have. You can ask to take a break if things start to get too much. If not knowing what it’ll be like is causing extra anxiety for you, you could contact the service and ask them for more information. They’ll also be used to working with people who don’t have anyone who knew them as a child. Try to plan something nice for yourself afterwards and maybe a gentle few days following it if you can.
Take care and keep posting,
11th November 2023 at 1:37 am #163094swanlakeParticipant
Oooh I can report back on this as I recently had the assessment.
The assessor told me that CPTSD is not caused by abusive relationships! Amongst other things that were shocking and upsetting.
I feel completely let down and trodden on by a medical professional though I’m continuing to look after myself and follow NHS guidance on self care.
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