Divorce.

[ashestobeauty]

My ISVA is sending a letter to a firm of solicitors to get a divorce with legal aid.
The secretary said they would cite unreasonable behaviour as the reason. What will the information will he have on this document? The police haven’t approached him yet regarding the rape or domestic abuse, so wonder how he will react to this? He will probably go ballistic but be too frightened to retaliate. He’s a coward at heart.
Thank you in advance for your help. Xx

[EbonyRaven]

It needs only a couple of paragraphs showing the behaviour. An experienced solicitor will know exactly how to phrase them so that they come over in the least ‘horrible’ was possible. They use very bland language.

Also, if he will agree to the divorce, but not the behaviours, there’s a box to tick. His solicitor will be aware of that.

Good luck.

[KIP.]

You will have to give a small statement on his unreasonable behaviour detailing some events that happened. You have the final say on what information goes in this document so speak to your solicitor. Having been through similar my advice is when you have some headspace to start writing all the incidents you remember right from the very beginning. The reaction of my ex was to send someone close to me round to try and get me to retract. Flying monkeys are quite common at this stage for cowards. Expect petty nonsense like maybe reporting you to someone trying to discredit you. Stay strong and be vigilant. Well done for reporting him. Keep going x

[ashestobeauty]

Thank you for your quick replies on a Sunday morning as well!!
If his partner sees this, she will go mental as he’s painted me as the bad person to everyone. I don’t have a current address for him though but I know where he works.
Where do they send the documents??

[freedomtochoose]

as far as I know about the process, if that is the only address you have, his work, they will send it there by recorded delivery so he has to sign for it.
ftc
x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi ashestobeauty, well done in finding the strength to do this. 💞 don’t worry about his partner, none of us would have believed their ex’s either. We believe their side of the story implicitly until it’s us they’re abusing, then everything he said about her, you just put you in place, and suddenly it all makes sense. She may go mental, but once the information comes out, she can’t hide behind it. It might spark as Wee seed of doubt in her mind too, which will grow and grow. It might allow her the clarity to fill out a disclosure form of her own.
The letter will go to his place of work as previously said.
IWMB 💕💕

[KIP.]

I imagine he will already be playing the victim. Just like my ex and she will fall for his lies. Let the solicitor deal with the details of where and how to serve his papers. His work will have a home address and there are ways to find out through court officers. Let them deal with that side. You just concentrate on recovery x

[ashestobeauty]

That will be interesting as he works in (detail removed by moderator) so it might get opened and the gossip will spread like wildfire. It could get messy for him as he likes to be in control.

[ashestobeauty]

I don’t have a copy of my marriage certificate. Forgot to tell you ladies.

[KIP.]

You can order a certified copy yourself or get your solicitor to order one from the local registrars office where you married x

[Iwantmeback]

Copies are easy to get, you just request an extract from the place you were married in. Don’t worry about anything, that’s your solicitors headache not yours, that’s why they cost so much❤❤

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