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    • #12092
      afterstroke
      Participant

      got married in EU country in (detail removed by moderator) with partner who I know and live with for (detail removed by moderator) years , we have (detail removed by moderator) daughter. After 4 months, in (detail removed by moderator) I got a stroke, which affected my moving talking writting etc. I needed to learn everything again, I’m on ESA now, stroke made me disabled. \it will need a time to get to 100% who I was and I could. Anyway my husband was lovely only for 2 weeks in hospital, when I got home and start having recovery, therapists and learn everything he started to calling me bad names, did not answer to my requests and spending time with neighbours , where he “relaxes” himself. The reason of my stroke were: stress, nerves and spray paintings which made my blood thicker. I use to paint with my husband. He was still paintins, even he knew that the doctor from neurology unit told it was a reason. He did not want to stop, so \i warned him couple of times and called the police. After this he moved out to neighbours, took a loan from a bank ( we had seperate accounts) – I was 7 weeks after stroke then. I was trying to explain him about the stroke , but he told me he knows everything from internet, I tried to make a therapy, but he told me “no” and finally he moved out for good – 10 weeks after my stroke. Meanwhile he told me he will divorce me, which I agree now – I has in double hell thanks to him , but he doesn’t agree it’s his fault. He did not pay any money to me and after a stroke I did not receive any money as a self-employed, he did not want to give me his statements from a bank to let me claim for even ESA. I needed to wait when he move to have tenant agreement only for me and borrowed money from mum, cause I did not receive any money also my husband took a lot of things when he moved, he told me “these are mine I pay for it”. He is also addicted to pornography, we had a lot of fight about this, he never wanted to go to specialist either.

      I read that in UK You can divorce after one year from getting married. Is that true? Can I make diverce from his fault? He told me it is my fault and gave my plenty of reasons so i do not know that he will choose to the court e.i. – he stopped loving me, I made him to getting married, I am psycho from 10 years, I was mean after the stroke etc. Where can I find a help to manage with that, advice what to do?

    • #12096
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Hi, Afterstroke, my heart goes out to you! You have been through so much! You should not only receive ESA but also disability allowance.
      Did you contact social services to help you? You may need help with the household and with shopping, ….
      Call Women’s Aid and speak to them.
      For the divorce you can call Rights of Women. Use their call back function, because they are very busy. They are female lawyers and really helpful.
      Your marriage is a short marriage. For this reason it is very unlikely that you can claim maintenance from him. But you can try to add the years you lived together to the marriage. There are circumstances when the family court considers that. And you have a child together. Does your child live with you?
      If you have bills and pictures of the things your husband took you can claim them back in the family court during the financial procedures of the divorce.
      A divorce consists of two parts: the actual divorce and the financial settlement. Both procedures can be done independently from one another.
      The person who hands in the divorce is the applicant. The applicant decides the reasons for the divorce. Only after two years of separate living reasons for the divorce do not have to be given, apart from the declaration about a long separation. Every divorce that is handed in before the parties are separated for two years needs to have a declared reason. The majority of parties uses ‘unreasonable behaviour’ as the divorce reason. This is done by the applicant.
      The respondent has no choice but to answer.
      Therefore it is important to be the first, the applicant, and send the husband the divorce papers for reasons of unreasonable behaviour.
      Otherwise he will do this to you.
      He has to pay you child maintenance depending on his income and this can increasingly be enforced by legal procedures.
      As you are on ESA you need to find out how much legal aid you can have. You should not have to pay for a lawyer.
      The Citizen’s Advice Bureau is a good place to find that out.
      Please keep posting and ask your questions. We are here for you! x*x

    • #12123
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey HUn

      YOu would have to check with solicitors but im sure there is no time limit on how long u have to be married before u apply for divorce, he is trying to break your self esteem more, get a support worker who can guide u further

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